Page 16 of Flawless

“Your ass passed out on national TV! If that wasn’t bad enough, you go to California to claim an award that you worked your ass off for, and you overdose, Dani!”

“Fucking Andre shouldn’t have called you!”

“It’s a great thing that he did. And thankfully, I came to the awards show although you didn’t want me to. Thank God, I had the presence of mind to leave and head back to the hotel the moment that I saw you leaving. If I had still been on the East Coast and not available, there’s no telling the PR nightmare I would have had to clean up. I worked my ass off keeping that shit under wraps and away from the networks. No one at the hotel knew except for the manager and our special friend, Dr. James!”

“I was going to be okay, Jade! You guys are making this a bigger problem than it should be! I was just celebrating and having a little fun. Andre knew that. It’s not like we haven’t done this a million times or more.”

Jade looks at me and shakes her head sadly.

“What?” I ask.

“You refuse to admit you have a freaking addiction, Dani! You refuse to acknowledge that you’ve become addicted to those pain pills that were temporary to address the back pain that you had after your skiing incident.”

“I still suffer from back pain, Jade!”

“That injury was two years ago, Dani. You don’t suffer from pain that causes you to take those pills daily! I watch you. I see how you move, and there isn’t any evidence of the stiffness, theimmobility, or the debilitating pain that you went through back then.”

“That’s because of the pills!”

“No, that’s because of the initial treatment and the physical therapy. This little thing that you have going with Mel and Dr. Mike is going to land your ass broke in an asylum as a washed-up has-been with no family or friends around you.”

“You think that I need anyone, Jade?”

“Hell yeah, I do! When I picked you up from the hospital, your hands were shaking, your eyes were glazed over, and you could barely function properly. When I saw you again at the hotel ready for the awards show, your eyes were bright and glassy, and I knew that you were high. I’ve had you locked away at my house for three days with none of those medicines, no alcohol, and no drugs. Look at you now, scratching your arms and shit like you’re a crack addict.”

“Screw you, Jade!” I say, storming back to her car.

She grabs my arm and spins me around.

“No, ma’am! Aside from being your agent, I am also your friend. Your best and only friend! I care about you, and I love you. I take shit from you, Dani, because I love you not because I’m worried that you might fire me. I have other clients.”

“Not on the level I am!”

She shakes her head sadly and says, “You’re right. They’re superstars who are and have passed you up. They appreciate the opportunities that I bring their way, and they aren’t throwing them down the drain. I’ve watched you push your parents away, your brother away, and the only man who ever truly loved you away. I have watched you crap on the people who love you most, and I have stood by and made excuses for your bad behavior. No more!”

“So, what are you saying, Jade?”

“Dani, I can’t keep you at my house. I’m no doctor, and I know that you shouldn’t stop the hydrocodone cold turkey. You either get with the program and let me check you into this hospital, or you can kiss your career, your family, and me goodbye.”

Narrowing my eyes as my heart speeds up, I turn from her, rubbing my forehead. My head is banging, and my mouth is dry. I just need a little medicine to help me feel better.

“You would do that to me, Jade?”

“I would so do that to you.”

“What kind of friend are you?”

“One who loves you and cares about you. The only one that you have. The rest of those so-called friends you made in the industry walked out on you when you quit partying with them and doing favors for them, and the rest walked out when you started having a bad reputation. They didn’t want their names tainted alongside yours.

“My husband has begged me to let you go because he sees what you’re doing to our friendship. He sees the heartache and pain that I suffer after being around you for half an hour, but I haven’t listened to him. My mom has told me that you’re not the same person, and I’m wasting my time on an empty shell, but I don’t listen to her.

“Despite all the people who love me and say that I need to run, I’m still standing here, extending a hand to you to help you. But I can’t do it for you, Dani. You have to want it yourself. Now, this is the last time that I am reaching a hand out to you, begging you to take it. But for the love of God, please don’t pull me down with you, Danica.”

Jade’s voice wobbles and breaks something inside of me. My friend’s teary gaze is firm and resolute as it remains on me. Her lips are pinched tightly, and she’s still reaching out to me.

“Please,” she says.

I turn my back on her, swipe at the tears on my face, and inhale deeply. Memories of my past, of the partying that I’ve done, and the shameful acts I’ve participated in, plague me, making me need another pill, another drink, another something. Anything to wash away the pain and the shame.

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