Page 61 of Flawless

Slowly, the anger turns to love.

“I went back to my hotel room each time and scrubbed my body. The only thing that we were allowed to do was insist that they use condoms. But they didn’t always adhere to that. Whenever that happened, which was three different times, I instantly went to the clinic to ensure that I didn’t pick up anything. I’ve been lucky enough to not have any diseases despite the lifestyle that I was living.

“The night that man defecated on me was more than I could take. No amount of washing my body and pouring bleach onto my skin could prevent me from feeling tainted. I smelled shit in my nose for several weeks and woke up in cold sweats from nightmares for a long time after that.”

“This was after you signed with L.A. Models?”

“I was no longer with them when this happened. I had completed a two-year contract and went off with someone I met in the industry who promised that he would be able to open doors for me to have a more lucrative career.”

“Not long after that, I finished the year on the contract that I was under and was able to connect with someone who linked me to Ford Models. That’s who I finished my career with by the time that I retired.”

“Was all this taking place when we met?”

“No. That was in my late teens. When I met you, I was still engaged in a few arrangements with men like Johan Jurgen, O’Dell Perry, and Mike O’Shaughnessy. They did none of the things those other men did, but I was still plagued by that. They engaged in rough sex and sometimes had me have threesomes with them and some other woman or man, but none of the other things. It wasn’t so bad, I guess,” I say softly.

Zenon remains there, staring at me so quietly for such a long time. If it weren’t for his eyes being open, I would think that he’d fallen asleep. I eventually wonder if he has fallen asleep with his eyes open.

He breaks the silence after a while. His words relax me.

“I’m so sorry those monsters took advantage of you, Dani.”

“I allowed it, Z. I let them use me and abuse me all for something so superficial. I did that to myself, Zenon. And do you know why?”

Zenon shakes his head as he wipes my tears away with the pads of his thumbs.

“Because I didn’t know how to love myself. That’s why I can’t give all of me to you. I need to learn to be enough for myself first before I can be enough for anyone else.”

Zenon presses a kiss on my forehead.

“You’re already more than enough for me, Dani. I love you.”

I close my eyes, looking forward to the day when, hopefully, I can return the sentiment. But I’m not there now.

16 – ZENON

I’m exhausted this morning, but I’m not showing it. I didn’t get any more sleep last night after Danica shared with me what she’d gone through.

I couldn’t fall asleep again after she’d shared her story with me. I had no idea things were that bad for her.

“Are you okay?” I ask, looking up at her as she scrubs the counters for what feels like the hundredth time already.

“Yeah. I just want to make sure that everything is okay for Zílda when she arrives.”

“Baby,” I say, walking to where Danica is cleaning the kitchen counter. Grabbing the sponge from her hand, I lay it aside and take both her hands in mine.

“Stop. I need you to breathe, Dani. You’re getting yourself worked up, and she won’t meet the beautiful, smart, and funny woman that I know. She might not like this anal, crazed version of you.”

A small smile tilts Danica’s lips, and she says, “I’m sorry. I’m just so nervous.”

“You don’t have to be. She’s just a thirteen-year-old girl who loves spending time on the phone with her friends, watching the latest TikTok videos, and going shopping.”

Licking her lips, her eyes dance up to mine, and I see that she’s still nervous.

I bend down, still holding her hands, and kiss her softly at first and then more heatedly. My hands finally release hers andgo up to her bikini top. My fingers roll her nipples underneath the fabric.

Danica tilts her head and lock her arms around my neck. I lift her onto the counter that she was cleaning, and then move my hands around to her back and untie her bikini top. When it falls to the space between us, somewhere between her knees and my stomach, I lean in and greedily suck one of her breasts into my mouth.

My tongue laves around her nipple and sucks greedily at her soft skin and her budded nipple.

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