Page 60 of Flawless

“Go back to sleep,” I say through a yawn. “I’m fine.”

His hands move up to lace into my hair.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters sleepily.

“For what?”

“I don’t know what I did to hurt you, but I’m sorry,” he mutters through the fog of sleep.

“It wasn’t you.”

“Then who?”

“Go to sleep. I’ll tell you in the morning.”

“Sleep will always be here.”

Sighing, I reach a hand up and touch his jaw. Stroking the silken hairs of his beard, I stare into those beautiful, light brown eyes of his.

“Talk to me, Dani. What happened?”

His voice is clearer than it was moments before.

“I had a flashback in the middle of us having sex. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help it.”

“What sort of flashback, Dani?”

“At some of the parties that we girls were expected to attend, we were traded around from one man to another. When Iwas barely eighteen, we would have Japanese visitors. We were expected to do special favors for these men. Enjo kosai or enko is what they would call it when they would give us money or luxury gifts in exchange for sexual favors.”

“What sorts of sexual favors?”

“In the beginning, we were just expected to keep them engaged with light conversation or sit by their side during meetings. That grew into fondling us to full-on sex. There were orgies, and there were times when I would be with two or three men at once. Some would beat us, call us all sorts of names, and have us be with other girls while they watched. Then there were the golden showers and...”

“And what?” Zenon coaxes.

I swallow hard unable to believe that I’m about to tell him this, or that I can even find the words to say it myself.

“There was the one time where one of the men...”

“One of the men did what, Dani?”

Closing my eyes because I cannot bear to see the disgust in his eyes when I tell him, I say, “He um...”

“Danica, open your eyes, sweetheart, and look at me.”

I do, but then I turn my back to him.

“Why can’t you look at me?”

“Because I can’t stand to see what I’ll see in your eyes when I say this to you.”

Zenon tugs me over again and stares at me.

“Please, baby, trust me with your pain.”

“He defecated on me.”

Zenon doesn’t close his eyes or look away from me. I don’t see disgust in his eyes. The only thing that I see is the anger that radiates, and I know that it isn’t against me but against the man who did it to me.

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