Page 29 of Flawless

Steve pulls out a stash of weed and rolls a joint while someone pulls out a bottle of liquor.

Okay, Dani. You’ve got choices to make. They’ve graduated from beer and cigarettes to weed and liquor. What’s next?

I blow several breaths in and out of my nose, especially when Cady passes the joint my way. It would be so easy to just take apuff or two and relax in the lightness that it brings, easing away the stresses of my world.

Girl, these last three months weren’t for nothing. Don’t let them go down the drain,I warn myself.

Shaking my head, I decline it, and Cady nods and leans around me, passing it to Mike. Allyson’s on her phone, and Amaris is laughing at something that Zenon is saying to Tobias.

When I look around at the group again, I catch Allyson staring back at me and tilting her head. She narrows her eyes and then says, “Hey, aren’t you Nica?”

That’s the unfortunate part about who I am. As a former supermodel and now talk show host, I have one of the most recognizable faces in the world. No matter what I try to do to disguise it, it seldom works. Even when I’m plain faced, like I am today, with no makeup, fancy hairstyles, or clothing, I still stand out in a crowd.

I was lucky to get away with it for as long as I have tonight. No one has recognized me and if they have, they chose not to say anything, avoiding making this event uncomfortable for me.

I give a simple nod before Allyson launches into, “Damn! I was worried about you. I catch all your shows, and when they said that you were taking a break to nurture your health, I was wondering what the fuck happened. I think you had the world scared when you passed out on TV like that.”

Falling back on Lana’s excuse, I reply, “Just working out too much and not resting like I should. Cutting back on calories and trying to get my beach bod for the summer cost me.”

“Are you kidding me? You have the perfect body. I wish that I was as flawless as you are,” Cady says, puffing on the joint and then passing it again.

Flawless.

That’s the word the modeling world and the media always use to describe me. I hated it because I was far from perfect. Iplaced so much pressure on myself in every area of my life to be this image that the world built me up to be instead of just being myself.

Flawless is the last thing that I am. People have no idea what I do to cover up all my flaws.

Labels, while meant to be flattering and complimentary, can actually be burdensome and destructive to one’s psyche when they’re not in the best place.

I need to get away from here not only because of the judgment but also because of the temptation. It’s too great as they pass the joint around and everyone’s drinking a cold beer. I should have removed myself from this environment the moment that they pulled out the beers, but I didn’t.

I stand, tugging at my bikini bottom as Zenon’s worried eyes find me in the dark.

“Are you leaving already? The fun hasn’t really begun,” Steve says, higher than the rest, making me wonder if the weed is the only thing that he’s partaking in.

“Yeah, I’m tired. It’s been an extremely long day.

As I walk away, I can hear someone say, “That’s what they’re saying on IG.”

“I don’t think it’s exercise. CLM quoted an inside source as saying she’s using,” Amaris says.

“Using what?” Allyson asks.

“I don’t know. All those celebrities are just alike. Thinking they’re above everyone else, doing what most of us won’t even consider, and then looking down their noses at us.”

My heart breaks with each step that I take, knowing that Zenon is sitting in their midst and not even defending me. He knows the life celebrities live. Hell, he’s a celebrity himself in the sports world. He may not be as famous as I am, but he’s a celebrity in his own right.

Zenon’s been in that life, too, maybe not as deeply as I have, but he’s not innocent to it that’s for sure. And yet, he won’t even speak up to defend himself, let alone me.

By the time I get back to the cottage porch, I hear footsteps running behind me.

“Dani! Wait!”

I keep walking and ignoring him calling my name. If I can just make it inside before he does and to my room, I can shut him out.

Shut out their voices.

Shut out the noise.

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