Page 87 of Blaze & Ajax

Once everything was ready, I placed two bowls full of spaghetti and two plates for our salad on the table.

Ajax took a bite of lettuce, chewing slowly. “I’m not very hungry.”

“Can you please eat a little more than a piece of lettuce? You’ve been steadily losing weight.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I’ll try.”

Ajax managed to eat most of his salad and half of the spaghetti, which was more than I expected. While I cleaned the kitchen, he made a few calls.

Once I was finished, I ran us a bath. Like the last time, I washed his hair and scrubbed his body with the washrag, and then I washed myself. Once we were clean, we laid back and soaked in the warm water, but this time, I leaned into Ajax. We fit in the tub better that way.

“I need to go talk to my boss at the hardware store. After that, I’ve got an appointment at four tomorrow,” he said.

I grabbed his hand, playing with his fingers. Even if he wasn’t well, I felt so close to him. I felt needed, loved… at home. This was where I belonged, lying against Ajax like this.

“I’m glad. I hope it helps.”

“Me, too. I never want to go through this again. The mania wasn’t bad… better even, but I know now there will be a hard crash at the end of it.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“If you want, and I’d like you to, but…” He sighed and kissed the top of my wet head.

“But what?”

“But maybe I need to see if I can do this on my own. I need to know I can lift myself up and get out of this. You won’t always be there.”

“I will.”

“You won’t. You’ll have work, or you could be anywhere. I need to do this… to take that first step. If I can do that, then I can take others.”

I craned my head back, and he gave me a peck on the lips. “I’m proud of you, Precious. I wish I were as strong as you.”

“You don’t think you’re strong?”

I shook my head. “My weakness led to me losing my home. I don’t give a fuck about my mother. She neglected me, but… I didn’t have to ruin her marriage, either.”

“Turn around and face me.”

I twisted in the bath and sat on my knees, unable to look at him.

“Look at me, Aiden?”

I shook my head.

“Look at me,” he said firmly.

I eyed him, feeling more guilty for putting pressure on someone who was already full of pain. The last thing Ajax needed was my burden on top of his.

“Baby, he used you and groomed you. Your stepfather saw your need and took advantage of you. He’s a fucking manipulator and a monster. He knew exactly what he was doing. That isn’t your fault. That’s not your weakness. It’s his.”

Ajax pressed a hand to my cheek. “You just wanted to be loved, Baby. That’s not a weakness. Who knew there was such a sweet and good person under all that bravado and all those tattoos?”

I lay back on him, and he wrapped his arms around me, protective and loving, making no demands of me. He was giving me his love freely without making me work for it or earn it.

“I don’t want to be Blaze anymore,” I finally said.

“Why’d you keep it if it was the name he gave you?”

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