Page 73 of Blaze & Ajax

What day was it? It was only yesterday that we trashed that house, right?

My phone rang, but I ignored it, not wanting to talk to anyone. The ringing finally stopped before ringing again—again and again.

“Goddammit!”

By the fifth time, I yanked my phone off the charger and threw it across the room, shattering it. I ignored the pang of more money lost because now I’d have to replace my phone.

The pain grew to be unbearable. It was like my whole body ached down to my soul. God, why did it feel like I had come down from a slew of drugs? I never used drugs, since Alpha wouldn’t let us, not that I would. I didn’t, right? My mind was set on repeating all that had happened, rewinding, and fast-forwarding, but my memories showed nothing about doing any drugs other than drinking. Regardless, parts of my memory were hazy. Some seemed like a dream. But fuck, if that was what it felt like to come down from a high from drugs, never sign me up.

The pressure in my bladder was full, so I forced myself to get up and take a piss. I flicked on the bathroom light, fucking hit by the disaster. Broken tile and debris littered the floor and tub, reminding me of all the money I was going to lose to not only fix it up, but pay the landlord. Shit, he’d probably kick me out if he found out.

My eyes watered again as I pulled out my dick and peed.

When I finished, I washed my hands and looked in the mirror above the sink, not recognizing the person staring back at me. My eyes had already been getting dark circles, but now it looked like I practically had black eyes. My face was empty, almost droopy, like my brain held nothing. I looked… sick.

I turned away and switched off the light. Once I was in bed again, I curled in on myself, tucked into my covers, but I couldn’t sleep. I was so fuckingtired, but I was sure I’d been sleeping a lot, like I’d been catching up on all those lost hours when I’d felt alive.

My stomach growled, and while I was hungry, I didn’t feel like eating. I would make something later.

How did I get to this place? I’d been so happy for at least a few months, but now it all seemed like a hazy dream or of another life.

Before I knew it, I was asleep again.

I sat on my windowsill with the window open, smoking on my last cigarette. I needed to go to the store and get more, but I didn’t feel like it.

The morning city was alive, with people going to work to make a living so they could afford a home, a car, and a family. The same shit for almost everyone. It was fucking boring and useless. Some people were lucky to achieve their dreams, but most of us only dreamed of the basics to make life just bearable. It was all an illusion, forcing us to keep moving forward.

The sudden pounding on my door made me jump, and I nearly toppled out of the window. I growled when I tossed my smoke, closed the window, and climbed back into bed, not ready to face the world.

The banging started again, so I pulled the pillow over my head.

“Ajax! Open the fucking door!” Blaze yelled.

I yanked the pillow off my head. “Go away!”

“Open the goddamn door, or else I’m going to kick it down, you fucker!”

I snorted a humorless laugh. “As if. Go for it! Break your foot!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Open. The. Damn. Door! I’m not going to leave until you do.”

“Little asshole,” I mumbled and climbed out of bed. I rushed to the door and opened it so abruptly it slammed against the wall, leaving a hole behind from the doorknob.

“Just fucking great,” I groaned. “Something else I’ve gotta pay to fix.”

Blazed looked at me up and down before I rushed back into bed and pulled the covers over my head, not wanting him to see me like this. God, why did Ieven care? He didn’t care about me. He only needed my dick to make him feel better.

Hell, why did I even let him in?

“It stinks in here.”

I shoved my hand out from under the blankets to flick him off. “Good, then you can fucking leave if you don’t like it.”

“The last time I was in here, it smelled of lemons and bleach. You were on a cleaning binge. What’s changed?”

“Leave me fucking alone!”

“No.”

---