Page 46 of Blaze & Ajax

Blaze scoffed. “God, if you only knew. Anyway, I instantly liked him. Finally, I had a father figure living in the house, and he was so nice. He’d talk to me, ask me questions… he just…”

“Fucking paid attention to you.”

“Yeah.”

“Did he abandon you, too?”

Blaze said nothing for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, but not in the way you think. Anyway, the attention he gave me hadn’t been enough. Soon, I grew more reckless, doing anything to get Mom to notice me. Even married, she was still too busy for her only fucking child. Why’d she bother even having kids if she didn’t want them?”

I had no answers for him, and I didn’t think he expected me to.

“One night, I’d snuck out of the house to go to a party some seniors from my school were having. Mom had just gotten me a car, anAudi R8in red.”

I had no idea what one looked like. All I had was a 2017Kawasakimotorcycle I’d scrimped and saved for.

“I got drunk, of course. I was only sixteen and didn’t drink much, so I ended up pretty wasted. When the party ended, I stupidly drove home.”

I could already tell where this story was going.

“I ended up crashing into a deep ditch. Honestly, it was a miracle that I hadn’t done worse, like die or kill someone. My car was totaled, though. After a visit to the hospital, the police arrested me for driving while intoxicated.

Instead of my mom coming to get me, it was my stepfather. He was a lawyer, so it made sense he’d come. When we got home, I rested my bruised body and had expected my mother to come bitch me out, but she never talked to me about it. I couldn’t even get in trouble with her after totaling a car. It didn’t matter how hard I tried.”

“Jesus. It’s like you were crying out just for any sort of attention, even if it was negative.”

Blaze nodded. “You get it.”

He ran a hand through his hair and rested his head on my shoulder. “Look, I know I was privileged. There are people out there who have nothing. Hell, I’ve got nothing, but still, it fucking hurt that she couldn’t even check to see if I was okay.”

I wrapped my arms around him, feeling more and more for this broken man, and a little protective. “What did you do?”

“Here’s where it gets even more fucked up. My stepfather offered me a way toward some sort of salvation to give me the order and attention that I desperately craved, especially when I was spiraling and suffocating because, no doubt, I was on the road toward destruction. He promised me he would set me on the right path and would bring me stability and happiness.”

It didn’t take a genius to know where this story was going as the puzzle pieces clicked together. I swallowed back the growing bile, wishing I had a drink myself.

“I readily agreed. But as soon as he told me to drop my pants for my punishment, deep down, I knew it was going to be more than just guiding me. That didn’t stop me, though. I wanted it. Ineededit. Cueball knows the gist of my story, but not who did it. He said I was groomed, and I suppose I was.”

“Yes, it was fucking wrong. Your stepfather, someone who was supposed to protect you, took advantage of an underaged kid desperate for attention, and exploited him.” My body was tight, and I suddenly wanted to hurt something, imagining a young Blaze, desperate to be loved and have someone take advantage of that.

Blaze lit another smoke and moved away from me. When I stood to be close to him, he held out his hand for me to stop and shook his head.

“You don’t understand. Iknewit was wrong, and I never asked him to stop. Not only was I a minor, but he was my mother’s fucking husband! He gave meallthat I craved. He gave me stability, direction, attention, affection, and fucking touch, even if it all came with a hefty emotional and mental price tag… my complete obedience.”

He paced and smoked, running a hand through his hair over and over. “I loved him! Don’t you get it? He wasmine. Not hers! He wasmyDom. He brought me into this Dom/sub world, and I didn’t regret it. Do you understand now why I’m such a fuckup? I was with him forthreeyears. I destroyed amarriage, and even to this day, I don’t care! She didn’t deserve him. I did! If I could have a do-over, the only thing I would change was not getting caught.”

That wasn’t Blaze’s fault. His stepfather shaped him into who he was—tricked him into loving him, pretending to care about the boy so desperate to be loved. That man was a fucking monster, not Blaze. Couldn’t he see that? It was clear as day for me.

“Aiden…”

“Stop calling me that! Fuck!” He tapped his fingers on his temple, still holding the cigarette. “I’m fucked up. Iknowit’s wrong, but I can’t bring myself to care.”

“Why do they call you Blaze?” I asked, trying to keep my tone calm for him, though I was burning and vibrating with violence, wanting to take it out on his stepfather’s fucking face. Every negative feeling I’d ever held for Blaze completely washed away, filled with this need to protect him. He thought I would hate him more? How wrong he was.

He scoffed and took a drag off of his smoke. “Theydon’t.Hecalled me his fire. He told me I set his heart ablaze. It’s why I can’t have you call me Blaze when we’re doing our thing. I need to be Aiden for you because I was Blaze for him. But… every other time, I’m Blaze because I don’t want people to know Aiden.”

He dropped his cigarette, and his hands went straight to his face, suddenly crying.

Fuck. Who knew Blaze was so emotional? He’d been that way around me a lot lately. I rushed to him and pulled him to me. He tried to fight me off, pushing, shoving, and hitting my chest, but I wasn’t about to let go. He finally relaxed against me and rested his head on my chest as he released all his pent-up pain.

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