Page 98 of Blaze & Ajax

I took a deep breath to steel myself. She may not talk to me, but I needed to try. Five years was long enough to live an out-of-control life. It was time to reclaim it.

I knocked again and waited.

A woman of about sixty in a black uniform opened the door. “May I help you?”

“Uhm, I’m here to see… my mother.”

The woman raised a brow, but instead of allowing me inside, she told me to wait a moment and shut the front door.

I paced back and forth, waiting to see if my mother would come out and talk to me, or leave me hanging as she did the previous two times.

A few minutes later, the door whooshed open, and I was shocked to find my mother standing there, looking as prim and manicured as ever. She hadn’t aged a day. I suppose all those fillers and Botox did wonders.

“What the hell do you want, Aiden? Why are you here? The only reason I’m talking to you is to tell you I know it was you and someone else who trashed my garden and the cars.”

“It was my birthday,” I said as if that would explain everything, but I also refused to admit it outright. She had no proof.

She scanned me up and down and scoffed. “Well, you look like trash with all those tattoos and piercings. Jesus.”

I was instantly angry, which hadn’t been my intention. “Get over it. I’m just here to get my birth certificate, ID, and whatever else you have. They belong to me, and I have a right to them.”

“Fuck you.”

She tried to shut the door in my face, but I put my hand out to stop her. “I’m… sorry! Okay? I’m so sorry I ruined your marriage. It’s taken a while, but… I’ve been dealing with shit and trying to be a better person. I’m not here to make amends. We’re beyond that. But while I’m here to grab my paperwork, I’m also fucking sorry.”

I really wasn’tthatapologetic, but I did regret it. None of it would’ve happened had she loved me even a little bit.

Her blue eyes scrutinized me, but they weren’t as hard as they were before.

“It was wrong of me,” I added. “But I’m going to tell you something, and I want you to listen. Please.”

She sighed and folded her arms over her chest. “Out with it.”

Okay, my foot was in the proverbial door. “I’m going to be honest here. I don’t know why you had me if you hated having a child. Should I be grateful you didn’t abort me? I don’t know, I guess so, but I also don’t know why you didn’t. I spent sixteen years while living here, mentally screaming at you to notice meand love me. You barely acknowledged my presence. I was so alone and acted out negatively so you’d finally notice me. I got drunk and trashed my car that day, so angry. You didn’t even come to see me in the hospital.”

She looked away but said nothing. Maybe there was a flash of guilt. Maybe it was annoyance. Who could fucking tell with all that Botox?

“Howard took advantage of me a few days later. At the time, I was so desperate to be loved and to have attention. He gave that to me. Looking back, I know he lied and manipulated me. He used my issues against me to get what he wanted.”

Her eyes hardened. “You said you loved him!”

“I was fucking naïve! Okay? What the fuck did I know about love? My only experience with it was with a man who made promises and gave me all I wanted and needed. What did you expect?” I sighed. “Regardless, I knew it was wrong, but I was desperate.”

Part of me wanted to ask her why she hated me so much. The other part never wanted to know. So, I didn’t ask.

“Whatever. Apology accepted, I guess. But you can’t come back home.”

God, it was like she didn’t even listen. There had to be something wrong with her, like mentally.

“I’m not asking to come back. This is the last place I want to be. I’m happy where I am. But I still need some of my things if I want to get a decent job… or any fucking job. I’ve been making money in other ways.”

Her body unclenched, and she stepped aside to let me in. “Fine. Get what you need and get out. Then, I never want to see your face again.”

“Thank you,” I said, trying to keep the peace.

“You’ll find your things in your old room.”

I walked in and headed up the stairs with her close on my heels, as if I’d steal everything in the house.

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