Page 74 of Blaze & Ajax

Suddenly, my covers were whisked back. “You look like shit, and when’s the last time you’ve showered?”

“So what? I’m tired.”

“Tired? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been—how worried your friends are?”

“Yeah, right… As if.”

I yanked the blankets from him and covered myself up again, desperately needing my cocoon.

“You’ve been holed up in here for four days,” he said.

There was no way it’d been four days.

“We’ve all been trying to call you.”

I said nothing.

“You know what? Fuck you, Ajax. What the hell? One minute, you’re happy, energetic, telling me… things. The next, you’re fucking ignoring me. I don’t like it! You make me feel things for you, and then you blow me off. You’re making my head spin!”

He blew out a long sigh and pulled back the covers again. I growled at him, but he ignored me and crawled into my bed. His face softened, then turned to worry. “You’re scaring me.”

I rolled over and huffed. “What do you care?”

My eyes watered, and I buried my face into my pillow, making sure he would never see how upset he got me, or how hurt I was that he didn’t feel the same about me. I shrugged him off when he grabbed my shoulder to turn me around.

“Something isn’t right with you, Jaxon.”

His saying my name pulled out more tears. God, I was fucking pathetic.

“Because everything’s fucking wrong,” I said, hating how my voice shook. “I feel…”

“Talk to me, Precious.”

My apprehension grew likea parasite, filling me with fucking worry and confusion about what was going on with Ajax. All I knew was that he wasn’t okay, far from it. One minute, he bounced around like an excited feral ferret, and the next, he seemed to be in some deep depression.

I’d called him, wanting more sex and seeing if we wanted to push the live cam thing he’d been talking about. It would be a great way to make money while giving up the drug selling. I’d still have to find a job, but if we were good enough at it, we could make a killing after a while.

That wasn’t quite the truth, either. Iwantedto see him, to be with him beyond the sex. Like, I actually wanted to hang out with him and learn even moreabout him.

But I’d called and called him with no answer. I went to his work at Alpha’s, but he hadn’t shown up, and no one had seen him, so they started calling him, also with no luck. My apprehension fed theirs. I told them I’d go over to Ajax’s place and find him with promises to tell his friends if he was okay.

But Ajax was far from okay. And that mademefar from okay. Not being able to reach him for four days put me in a near panic, thinking he hated me after what we’d done to my Mom’s place, especially after I’d come to terms with how I felt about him… sort of. I couldn’t have him avoid me. I needed him more than I ever let on. He told me he loved me, dammit. While it terrified me, if I found out he’d lied or messed with me, I planned to fucking kill him.

But what I’d found instead wasn’t an asshole using me, but someone hurting, which sent me into a tailspin of worry and regretting my selfishness.

His apartment had crap everywhere, but it hadn’t looked like he’d been eating at all. There were no food containers or dirty dishes, and his trash can was virtually empty. Clothes were strewn on the floor, along with wads of tissues, shoes, a shattered phone, which explained why he hadn’t answered, and stacks of mail scattered on the floor.

Even worse, Ajax hadn’t shaved, bathed, or brushed his teeth. He and his apartment stank, but I didn’t care about that right now. I needed to understand the sudden shift with him and what I could do to help him get out of whatever funk he was in.

Maybe he just had a bad virus. That would explain all the tissues everywhere. But he didn’t appear sick.

I got out of Ajax’s bed when he rolled over, looking way too dejected, and I walked to the other side, forcing myself into his presence. He grumbled, but he’d scooted over for me. I climbed in again, got under the covers, and shoved my knee between his legs.

“How’s it all wrong, Precious?”

His lips trembled at the endearment, and he took a deep breath as if to keep from losing it. “I’m so broken, Aiden. I’m so alone.”

“How can you say that? I’m literally lying next to you, worried about you.”

---