Page 47 of Blaze & Ajax

“I’m a fucking disaster, Jaxon,” he sobbed. “I can’t even hold a damn job like I’m just doing it out of spite of him and my mother. Then, I’m too chickenshit to get my ID and shit from her. I sell drugs to make ends meet, for fuck’s sake! So you see? I’m a loser. A fucking loser. And now that you know, you’ll just be as disgusted with me as she was.”

I held him tighter to prove to him otherwise. “Don’t count on it. Do I like knowing you sell drugs and hurt others when you do? Fuck no. That shit pisses me off. I used to think I knew a good soul when I saw one, like Stix, Nacho,or Alpha. But sometimes good souls are hiding away, afraid to come out. God, I get that now. I didn’t see it in you before because you hid it so well behind your scowls, but I do now. You just need to accept it and break away from the ugliness.”

He shook his head on my chest, now wrapping his arms around me, clinging to my back, not believing me. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You definitely can.”

Blaze stood straight, pulling away from me to wipe his face. “God, I feel fucking ridiculous. I’ve cried more around you than I have my entire life.”

“That’s trust.”

He wrapped his arms around himself and huffed a humorless laugh, but I wouldn’t let him pull away again, so I yanked him back to me.

“What happened when you got caught?” I asked when he seemed calm enough.

“Howard and I were in his office. He was spanking me pretty hard that day because I’d been mouthing off after getting in trouble for getting a bad grade on my chemistry test. Mom had been out with her girlfriends at some day spa and came home early. She heard the noise and, for the first time in her life, seemed concerned, or figured out what was going on. She grabbed the spare key to the office, opened it, and found me naked, sprawled over her husband’s lap, who was also naked.”

Fuck me. I supposed it was inevitable.

“She kicked us both out of the house. While she let Howard grab his things, I was only allowed to take the clothes lying on the floor. I quickly got dressed as she told him to leave, but she ignored me. Howard was strangely quiet, not coming to my defense, even when I told Mom I loved him and he loved me. Such a childish thing to say and believe.”

“Youwerea fucking child, Aiden.”

“I was nineteen at the time, and a fucking adult.”

“It doesn’t fucking matter. Your stepfather was a grown-ass man who manipulated you. Then what happened?”

“After he left, I started yelling at her, saying she’d never loved me, and why did she give a shit now? It was only her ego, not me. But I left, believing I had a place with Howard. The next day, I headed to his office and begged him totake me in, explaining that I had no money or anywhere to go, but he told me no. He told me we were finished. That right there crushed my fucking world. I knew right then he’d never loved me. I died a little that day. I ended up crashing on friends’ couches for a short time, but no one wanted to take care of me, and eventually I ended up on the streets.”

Blaze took a shuddered breath and dug blunt nails into my back. “I met up with an old friend in high school. He works at a pharmacy, and we… sell drugs whenever he can snag some. I’ve made enough money to cover my expenses. It got me off the streets along with Cueball’s help.”

I definitely hated the drug selling, and if we continued as we were, that had to stop.

He looked up at me with begging black eyes. “Still like me?”

I breathed out a laugh and pulled a lock of hair away from his face. “Even more so.”

His eyes grew wide. “What?”

“Thanks for telling me your story. It’s nice to meet you, Aiden.”

He shook his head, unbelieving. “How? I’m a fucking disaster.”

I chuckled. “That you are. But we all are.”

I leaned down and kissed him to prove my point. “Do you want my honest take?” I asked when we broke apart.

He swallowed and nodded.

“This Dom/sub thing makes more sense, but I amnotyour stepfather. Got it? I better not be his fucking replacement.”

Blaze shook his head so hard and fast that his hair fell back into his face. “No, I’m not trying to replace him, but… I need this. I’ve really enjoyed this, and you’re… kinder, even when I don’t deserve it. He took care of me, too, but looking back on it, it was always cold and calculated.”

“Good. I also want you to stop selling drugs if we’re to continue this strange relationship thing we’ve got going on. You need to learn to fend for yourself legitimately. I don’t want my guy going to jail or causing someone to overdose.”

His face was so desperate to be accepted and wanted. I could be that person for him. Iwantedto be that person.

“Your guy?” he asked.

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