Page 101 of Blaze & Ajax

“You seem to be doing okay. Ajax is happy-ish—as happy as someone dealing with depression can be. You keep him company, show him love, and feed him.”

“Yeah, but you’ve taken care of Pippin for a long time. At least, that’s what Ajax told me. Do you have any advice? I want to make sure I take good care of him whenever he needs it. He won’t always, but I want to be prepared, as I said.”

Nacho huffed a laugh and sipped his water. Before he could speak, Ms. J brought us our lunch.

“There you boys are. I’m off, but flag me down if you need anything.”

We nodded, and she ran off.

I poured some syrup over my pancakes as Nacho looked away thoughtfully.

“I was a little controlling, Aiden, at least until recently. I worried so much about him and was too afraid he’d leave me if I didn’t do my best in his care and keep him protected. It all backfired epically, of course.”

I nodded, having heard snippets of their story.

“One thing I’ve learned is that you can’t control everything, no matter how hard you try,” he said.

“Yeah, I’ve recently learned that.” Not that I ever had control in my life, but I didn’t tell him that.

He smiled. “Then you know. You just have to take it one day at a time. Let Ajax figure things out. If he wants to take steps alone, let him. Just make sure he knows you’ll always be there waiting when he returns.”

“What if he… what if…” I couldn’t say the words, but my face must have said it all.

“We always have to stay vigilant and prepared. If someone is determined to die, they’ll do their best to. If they succeed, it won’t be your fault. Sam’s had suicidal ideations himself. All you can do is do the best that you can while letting them breathe, too. You can’t watch them twenty-four-seven.”

As much as I wanted to protect Jaxon like that, Nacho was right.

“Sam really likes you and Cueball. You took care of him when he needed someone.”

I picked at my food, unable to look at him. “I didn’t do shit. That was all Cueball.”

Nacho shrugged. “That’s not how Sam sees it. Anyway, he likes you, and that means I like you. We all hated you for a while, but you’ve eased into our hearts. We’ll protect you with everything we have. That’s a promise.”

My eyes watered, not from hurt, but from realizing that love didn’t have to come through what my stepfather gave me. It came from friendship, healthy relationships, and family who didn’t have to be related to you. Nacho’s words were strangely healing. They helped stitch my black and broken soul back together. It still wasn’t perfect, and it probably never would be, but it was enough.

“Thanks. I’ll… do the same for you.”

We ate our lunch and chatted a bit longer about our friends, and he prattled on about skating. When we finished up, we even hugged.

After we parted ways, I headed toward Storm’s apartment because we had unfinished business.

When I reached his building, he buzzed me in. By the time I stepped up to his apartment, I found his door ajar, waiting for me. I pushed my way inside and found Storm on the couch, counting some pills and putting them in baggies.

“Change your mind?” he asked, looking over at me.

I’d called him a week ago to explain I wouldn’t sell anymore. He was chill about it, but he was disappointed at having to find someone new he could trust.

“No,” I said, sitting next to him.

“Finally got a job, eh?”

“Yeah. I, ah… saw my mom, got my ID and shit.”

“No shit? Well, good on you then, man. You two work your shit out? She forgive you?”

I sighed. “No. Turns out she’s… not my bio mom.”

Storm’s eyes blew wide. “What the fuck?”

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