Page 44 of Something Unavoidable

Izzy loosened his grip on Keegan so he could stroke her head. He was quiet for a long time before saying, “There’s something wrong with me.”

Keegan didn’t startle at the statement, but it was a near thing. Izzy had made that joke about Keegan earlier, but this was different. Izzy wasn’t joking. “Why do you think that?” he asked, instead of voicing all the normal platitudes. If Izzy was going to open up, Keegan didn’t want to screw up and say something that might stop him.

Izzy was silent long enough that Keegan worried he’d screwed up anyway. Finally, he said, so low Keegan had to strain to hear, “I fell in love with a predator.”

Fuck. Keegan swallowed hard. What was the right response to that? Luckily, he didn’t have to come up with one.

“I thought he was so cool. He knew everything about horses and training, but he didn’t treat me like a dumb kid. He listened, and he respected my opinion. He saw something special in me, and he wanted me to be the best.”

He was talking about his former trainer. Josh something. Martin. That was it. Keegan’s stomach twisted. “Baby, did he—” But Izzy was already shaking his head.

“He wasn’t into kids.” He let out a hollow laugh. “I actually respected him for that. Plenty of guys tried to get with me before I turned eighteen, but Josh never did. He chased them off and told me to concentrate on my goals. There would be time for dating later.”

If Keegan remembered right, Izzy had gone to train with the former Olympian when he was in high school, moving his horse to New England for it. The arrangement was mutually beneficialfor Josh Martin and Izzy’s father, who bred horses for high-level competition. His son got training from one of the best in the world, and Martin got access to the cream of the crop of Frank King’s Irish Sport Horses.

“I didn’t mind,” Izzy continued. “I wasn’t interested in anyone else. And I was too busy anyway. Josh and Birdie took up all of my time.”

Blackbird. The mare had been one of Keegan’s first foals back when he was still interning for Dr. Haller. She was a beautiful creature. Izzy had sold her after his accident. Now Keegan was wondering how much more there was to the story.

“Things didn’t change until I was older. I was almost twenty when I finally wore him down. We won the Eventing European Championship. I was old enough to drink there, so we were celebrating. He let me suck him off. As areward. I’d never done anything like that before, but I loved it.” Izzy’s laugh was painful. “He didn’t say anything after, but he started treating me differently. Longer touches, more hugging. More blow jobs. I should have clued in sooner. But I believed what I wanted to believe.”

Keegan squeezed him tighter, dreading what was next, but needing to hear it as much as he suspected Izzy needed to get it out.

“We—Josh’s top students—were getting geared up for the Olympic qualifying competitions. Josh was the favorite for Chef d’Equipe—” Keegan made a questioning sound, and Izzy paused to explain. “Olympic team manager, basically. They choose the team members, train them, develop competition strategy, manage logistics, work with the media… They do it all. They’re the reason a team wins or loses.” His next breath shook. “Josh was a shoo-in. He’d been to four Olympics and brought home three golds. He was ranked in the top ten worldwide, and the horses he trained won numerous international competitions.”Izzy recited Josh’s accomplishments like he’d had to explain them before.

“Your horse included,” Keegan stated more than asked.

Izzy nodded. “He called Blackbird and me his masterpieces.” Izzy’s voice cracked, and he had to clear his throat before he could continue. “I was so fucking naive.” He lifted a hand to dash at his eyes.

Keegan’s control was hanging by a thread. The only thing stopping him from losing it was the fact that Izzy needed him to hold it together. Also, the asshole was long dead, and as much as he wished it, Keegan couldn’t kill him all over again. “You were young,” Keegan told him carefully, knowing he didn’t have the full story yet, but needing to somehow reassure Izzy that he wasn’t at fault for what the bastard did.

“Not as young as Emma,” Izzy bit out wetly. “Or Sammy. When he got them drunk, then told them to keep their mouths shut if they ever wanted a chance at the Olympic team.”

Keegan’s breath hissed out of him. That sick bastard. “That’s why you called him a predator,” Keegan said, trying and failing to keep the rage from his voice.

Izzy jerked his head in a nod. “And I fell for it. Fell for him.”

Keegan wanted to force Izzy to look at him, to reassure him that he couldn’t have known, but he had a feeling Izzy was only still talking because he didn’t have to see Keegan’s reactions. “Then what happened? I know the fucker offed himself—which is the only reason I’m not halfway to a murder charge right now.”

That made Izzy laugh, the sound bordering on hysterical, before he cut himself off. “Emma happened.” He pressed back into Keegan and squeezed his arms tighter until Keegan worried he wouldn’t be able to breathe. “Josh had been getting away with it for who knows how long, but Emma was so fucking brave.” Izzy sniffled, and it took him a few tries to get the next words out. “She came to me first,” he said like it was an admission. “I—I didn’t believe her. Josh had warned me that she was jealous of what we had. I was so stupid…”

“He manipulated you,” Keegan corrected, tone hard and unyielding. “That wasn’t your fault.”

Izzy kept going without acknowledging Keegan’s statement. “She told Stew next. Stewart, our assistant trainer. He believed her. He always thought something was off about Josh. The two of them warned me Emma was going to the IOC. That’s when Sammy told me he’d done it to her too.” Izzy was crying openly now, his breath choppy and his voice getting more difficult to understand, though he kept pushing. “I confronted him.”

“Baby, it’s okay. You can tell me the rest later,” Keegan soothed, worried that Izzy was going to push himself straight into another panic attack.

“No. I need to do this now,” Izzy insisted. “I confronted him, and he fucking laughed in my face. He told me that was how the game was played. That I’d made it easy by throwing myself at him. Emma and Sammy felt safe because they didn’t think a guy who already had a boyfriend would hurt them.” Izzy barely got the next sentence out. “It was all a lie, though. He never even fucked me. He didn’t care about me one way or the other. I was just convenient.”

Keegan was going to find out where Josh Martin was buried and piss on his grave.

They both jumped when Riley barked, the sound short and sharp. She was standing now, her eyes still focused on Izzy. Her nostrils flared, and she lifted a paw and tapped Izzy’s arm, then stayed hovering for a moment before doing it again.

Shit. Keegan guessed his suspicions about her service dog training were correct. That was a clear alert.

“Hey,” Izzy murmured to her, despite her inability to hear him. “What’s wrong?” His hand was trembling as much as his voice when he lifted it to stroke her shoulder.

“She’s worried about you,” Keegan told him.

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