Page 30 of Bound By Secrets

“Well, that’s certainly shocking.” The creases reappear and I shake my head softly, smiling at him.

“Ryker, that’s not going to change my opinion of you. It doesn’t bother me because you did it out of self-defence. You chose to save yourself in that situation. I’m not going to judge you for anything you’ve ever done when you have justifiable reasons for doing those things. Anyone who works for my father is a dirty criminal, and they were coming for you, Ryk. You did what you had to do. What I’m more worried about is you.” He looks at me with surprise, and I huff out a laugh.

“Why would you be worried about me when I was the one that shot someone else?” I crawl into his lap, placing my hands on either side of his face and placing a gentle kiss against his lips.

“Because you shot someone. That’s bound to take a toll on anyone, and I know you, Ryker. I know that would’ve played on your mind for weeks afterwards and you would’ve been constantly doubting if you’d done the right thing. So, I want to know how you’re coping with it all. Are you ok?” His eyes study mine and he rubs his nose against mine.

“I don’t deserve you, Callie Conrad. You’re way too good for me.” He softly kisses me. “To answer your question, yes. I’m okay. It took a while for me to come to terms with what happened but I’m good… Although, I do think it changed something inside of me because all I can think about now is how much I want to kill your father and the creep that he’s friends with.”

“You’ve always had a dark side, Ryker. I’ve seen you fight, remember? I’ve seen you give Connor a run for his money when you’ve been angry – only a psychopath would be willing to go up against him. But having a little darkness inside of you isn't a bad thing.” He squeezes me against him and kisses my head as he slowly leans back, dropping fully onto the bed.

We lay there for a while, holding each other and basking in the moment. He brushes his hand along my thigh, lightly caressing the scars that are scattered across the top.

“Tell me about how you got these. I want to know what’s happened since I left.”

“One of them, as you know, is from Cameron when we were kids…” I trail off, not wanting to tell him about the rest. “The others are from the first time that Fraser raped me.” I face him and he grimaces before quickly giving me a tight smile and nodding, signalling for me to continue.

I inhale deeply and close my eyes, breathing in Ryker’s smell, trying to ground myself.

“The first time, the night after my eighteenth, he came into my room when he thought I was sleeping. I wasn’t, I was wide awake and scared shitless because I knew that he’d be coming to see me at some point. Connor had given me a knife as a gift the day before. He told me to hide it in my pillowcase and use it if I needed to. Told me that all I had to do was scream if I needed him and he’d come running.” I pause, forcing down the sob that’s trying to break free as I remember everything that happened on that frightful night.

“I pretended to be asleep at first, thinking it would deter him, but Fraser was desperate to have what Derek had offered. As soon as he started pulling my shorts down, I started screaming for Connor, and I grabbed the knife, thrashing around and trying to stab him. I managed to get him in the leg, but I couldn’t pull the knife back out, so Fraser gained the upper hand.” Ryker’s hand closes into a fist and I can feel him vibrating with rage next to me.

I face him, looking through tearful eyes and see him glaring at the wall ahead of him. The sob I was trying to hold in breaks free and he pulls me tighter against him.

“Carry on, Callie. I know it’s hard, but I need to know. Please.” I blow out a shaky breath, wipe the tears that have escaped my eyes and squeeze my arms back around his waist, taking pleasure in the comfort he provides me.

“Connor didn’t come. I found out the next day that Dad had injected the twins so that they were unconscious. Fraser was forceful and rough, and the more I fought, the worse he’d get. H-he hit me, multiple times, so goddamn hard that my vision blurred, and I lost my balance. He sat on top of me, pinning me down. I carried on trying to fight him off, but that’s when he started slicing into my leg with the knife. He enjoyed it, andhe was pleasuring himself to the sound of my screams.” I stop talking as my words become a jumbled mess, the tears now cascading down my face and soaking Ryker’s chest. His fingers twine into my hair, softly massaging my scalp.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to tell me. I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t there to help.” I shake my head against his chest.

“You didn’t know. You couldn’t have known what would happen. And I’m okay. That was the only time it’s ever been that bad… I don’t think I want to talk about it anymore, though,” I mumble.

He kisses my head, his tears falling off his cheeks and dampening my hair. The room falls into near silence once again, my hiccupped breathing being the only sound as Ryker continues to run his fingers through my hair. I lay there, lost in thought.

I still haven’t completely gotten over Ryker's departure. I understand now why he did it, but I can’t help but still feel disheartened by it.

It took me months to get back to being myself after losing Ryker and losing our baby. I was in such a numb-minded state that none of the beatings that were given to me bothered me. I would lay there, staring into nothingness whilst I was being kicked and punched.

I hardly remember the first few months after Ryker had left. I can vividly remember when I went to Jasmine’s house begging to know where he’d gone, and I can vaguely remember the first few times that Fraser had raped me, although I wish I didn’t.

Fortunately, I do remember a few decently happy moments that I had with the twins. But everything else was just blank. I was depressed and heartbroken, and the twins were the ones to help me sort myself out because they were so incredibly worried about the way that I was slowly deteriorating as a person.

I’m not going to hold any of that against Ryker, not now that I know the reason for his leaving and why he stayed away. But I am going to be cautious with him from now on because I’m terrified that he could leave again at any time.

“What are you thinking about?” His voice draws me out of my thoughts.

“Nothing important. Let’s just cuddle for a minute because I’ll need to head back soon before anyone realises that I’m gone.” Ryker belly laughs after I say that, I look up at his face, confused as to why he’s laughing, to see him holding his phone.

“It’s too late for that. Your brothers have clearly harassed Johnny for my number because I have about ten texts from each of them.” I groan and bury my face into his chest, breathing deeply to try and savour his smell. “Come on, Pretty Girl, let’s get you home.”

I make quick work of getting dressed and then we hurry out of Rykers and head back towards my house.

The white brick walls stand tall and strong. The dark-framed windows and the cluster of bushes and trees surrounding the place make it look ominous and secure. No lights are on inside and everything is deadly quiet. It’s an eerie place.

All I can hear is Ryker's ragged, hushed breaths and our footsteps as we walk towards the opening in the bushes off to the side of our property. As we reach the tree that I’ve always used to climb up to my bedroom, a light flickers on in the downstairs hallway that leads to my father’s bedroom and office.

My body freezes and Ryker swiftly pulls me into his chest, hiding us behind the thick trunk of the tree. He pulls out his phone from his pocket and dims the brightness before pulling up his text thread with Callum.

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