Page 16 of Snowed In with My Ex

“I checked the peephole before I opened the door,” she responded. “And I just got out of the bath!” she exclaimed with attitude.

It was obvious I was making a bigger mess out of our situation.Shit.The whole flight and drive here, I had wracked my brain, trying to come up with the right words to tell her, to make her understand why I’d been the way I’d been. That when she thought I was being cold or indifferent, I’d just been trying to hold back. Too keep the need to touch her, fuck her, and breed her at bay. But nothing came out.

Not a fucking sound.

Instead, I took her hand in mine. The softness of her palm made my body ache in a whole other way. My heart finally felt peace after a month of turmoil. Our fingers laced together. I was positive she would remove her hand, but when she didn’t, I gently pulled her back into my arms.

“I was outside your place when you left,” I admitted. I knew how much of a fucking stalker it would make me sound like, but if anyone in this world could understand the shit in my head, it would be her.

Allie was my everything. My princess. The sweetness I needed to get through the day. My soulmate.

“What?”

“And if I’m being honest… this last month…” I hesitated.

“Yeah?” She pulled back a little and blinked, watching me closely, ready to call me on any kind of bullshit. It was one of the many things I loved about Allie. She wasn’t afraid to call me on my shit.

“I’ve been around.”

“Around?” she repeated.

“Around,” she said once again but in a different tone and moved back a small step, but I didn’t let go of her hand. “You’ve been watching me?”

“You wanted space,” I reminded her. She laughed roughly.

“No. We broke up.” She shook the towel off her head and tossed it in the direction of the couch with her free hand. Fucking hell, the sight of her long dark tresses made my hands itch to touch her.

“I didn’t agree to that,” I responded, and she crossed her arms in front of her

“Excuse me? What?”

“Look, I just?—“

“You what? Got tired of me? Was I too much? Did I call too often or not talk dirty enough when we played?” she cut me off.

Each question she asked slashed at my heart. I’d done that. I’d put those thoughts into her head because I’d been so stuck in mine. “Fuck no.” I sighed. “It had nothing to do with you?—“

“So, this was anit’s me, not youkinda situation? Are you seriously saying that to me right now?” She rolled her eyes and tried to shake my hand away, but I didn’t let her.

“I was afraid,” I blurted out. She shook her head.

“You? Afraid? Of what?” She kept taking more steps away, forcing me to release her hand, and even though we were less than six feet apart, I hated the distance.

“Of you!” I exclaimed. Her eyes widened. Not with surprise but anger.

“Me!?” she repeated loudly.

“Yes. No. Fuck!” I cursed.

My hands had a mind of their own. I took a step forward and reached for her, pulling her into me again. Thankfully, she didn’t fight me on it. This was not at all how I had seen this whole thing playing out.

“I wanted you too much,” I finally spit out. The words sounded even stupider when I heard them out loud. They bounced around in my head because I was met with nothing but silence. My eyes strained to get a clearer view of her, but in the darkness, I couldn’t make out what she was thinking. All I could do was feel, and the fact she hadn’t pushed me away gave me hope.

“I’m so damn in love with you,” I rasped, swallowing hard. “I can’t keep watching you from afar. Hoping that you’ll message me. That you’ll change your mind about me. I need you, Allie.” My voice sounded scratchy in my own ears. “I swear I won’t do that again. I won’t shut you out or––“

“Shut up,” she whispered. My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my goddamn chest with how badly it was thumping away.

“Allie, princess, please! Just let me explain––“

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