Page 45 of Red Captive

“One second,” he says, going to my closet. He pulls out a pair of leggings and an oversized T-shirt. It’s one I like to wear.

He comes back and takes a seat on my bed. The mattress dips from his weight.

“Sit up,” he tells me. “Face the other way.”

I do as he says, putting my back to him as I turn to face the far wall.

“Lift up your arms.” His voice is low and so deep.

Again, I do as he says. Steel peels my ripped blouse up off my body and over my head. He’s careful not to touch me.

I have to say, I’ve had more than a couple of fantasies involving Steel taking my clothes off, but never like this. This is somehow better.

He carefully positions and then pulls my clean T-shirt over my arms and head. It falls down over me. I feel better almost instantly. Using both of his hands, he gently takes my hair out from where it is tucked inside the shirt.

He puts the tights on the bed next to me. “You’ll have to put these on yourself.”

“Really? You’re not going to help with those, too?” I say in an attempt to tease him and to lighten the mood. Then I turn and lie back on the pillows. My lip wobbles, so I bite down on it, feeling more of those stupid tears start to well in my eyes. “Argh…this sucks so badly.” I swipe at them. “I can’t seem to stop crying. It’s irritating since I’m not normally much of a crier.”

He gives me a look like I’m full of it.

“The last two weeks don’t count. They’ve been seriously challenging.” I level him with a look right back. “I’m talking about before I came to this island. Before I tried to escape. Idon’t cry.” I shake my head. “Not normally. Now, I can’t seem to stop. It’s annoying me.”

“And you have no idea how you got here, to Mistveil, that is? You were found wandering on the beach.” He narrows his eyes. “Is that right? The last thing you remember was being on Draig Island as a Tribute.” I can see that he doesn’t believe a word of it. Steel isn’t an idiot. I understand completely why he isn’t buying it because the whole thing sounds comical.

I groan and close my eyes. “Please don’t start with the questions. Not right now. You can interrogate me again later.”

“I’m sorry.” He sighs. “It’s just that it doesn’t add up. None of it does. What happened with the duke? Do you want to talk about it, or do you need to get some rest?” His voice has softened. His whole demeanor has softened. “It might help to talk.”

I sit up. “He said he wanted to sample the goods.” My voice hitches, and those pesky tears spring into my eyes. “I felt helpless. Of course, I told him ‘no,’ but he became insistent. He called me a whore.” More hot tears leak from my eyes. I don’t try to stop them this time. “He told me that I was selling myself. Asked me what my problem was. He told me that there was no way he was taking me as a mate without trying out the goods first. He made me feel small and weak and cheap.”

I hear a weird noise and realize that Steel is grinding his teeth. His face is red. His eyes are blazing with raw anger.

I swallow thickly. “He told me that the general offered me to him. Told him that he could have me if he wanted me. Something about political gains.” I shrug. “I don’t know what it all means. All I know is that the general told me that I could choose between the twelve candidates. If I toed the line, I could choose. It would be up to me. Is the general lying to me? Maybe the duke was lying. I don’t know what to do. It feels like everything is falling apart around me. I don’t know how to moveforward or who to trust. Or what to do. I want to go home. I want my family to be safe. I don’t care what happens to me as long as they are okay.” I sniff, trying to hold back another volley of tears.

“What did you mean by toe the line?”

Shit! I said too much. “Nothing. Just that I shouldn’t try to escape again; that I should meet the candidates, then pick someone and go through with the ceremony. That kind of thing. I told him I wanted to wait before having kids… Actually, I told him I didn’t want kids at all, but he said that it was a deal-breaker, so I agreed, but I made it clear that I wanted to wait. He agreed and yet he hasn’t told a single one of these candidates about our agreement. Why not? Is he lying to me?” More tears run down my cheeks. “I’m not a whore, Steel. I’ve only ever been with one person. My ex. That’s it! I was with him for a year and a half before…well…you know.” I widen my eyes. “We got together in our senior year, then we went to college and… I won’t bore you with the details.” I scrub a hand over my face. “Thing is, I agreed to marry one guy. To sleep with one person. Even that is going to be really tough on me. I don’t mess around. I’m not that kind of person. I believe in love and a committed relationship. The love part more than likely won’t happen for me, but I want commitment and respect. Is it too much to ask?” I shrug. “I can tell you now that I won’t sleep with any of the candidates. No way! I refuse.” My voice gets some grit, which I’m happy about. “There will be no sampling of the goods. I wish to god that I didn’t have to do this, but I do. I don’t have a choice.” My eyes are filling again. The tears are so damned annoying.

“For your family?” Steel asks.

“Exactly. I need the money for them so that Caleb doesn’t end up in foster care and so that my mom can get the help she needs. But now I’m so worried that the general is going to go back on his word. I’m so afraid.” My face crumples. The tears pour down.

Dammit! This sucks! I hate feeling this vulnerable, but the truth is that I am vulnerable right now. I am helpless. I am weak, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. I’m at the general’s mercy, and I’m beginning to realize that he isn’t as straight down the line as I thought. I whimper and cover my face with my hand.

“Fuck!” Steel says as he gathers me into his arms, holding me tightly. “This is a mess,” he says into my hair. He doesn’t hold me for long. Within a few short seconds, he is letting me go. It’s been a long time since I was in someone’s arms, and it feels good. I have to force myself to let him go when all I want to do is to hold on for dear life.

I sniff a few times and get myself together. “I know you’re doing your job and that something happened to you that makes it hard for you to trust people. I don’t expect you to trust me. Or to care anything for me at all, but it would be really great if you could hold me for a few minutes…please.” My voice is small. I sound nothing like myself. Like the woman who had to keep it together for the last few years. The woman who had to be strong and steadfast and resolute. I’ll give myself this one thing. Then I’m pulling myself together. I will stand up for myself. I will confront that asshole general. He can’t do this.

“Yes…of course.” He pulls the covers up and over me. Then he lies on top of them, clasping my hip with his hand. “Is this okay?”

I want to pull his arm around me and bury my head in his chest. I want to forget about all of my troubles, to forget everything that exists outside the four walls of this apartment, but that isn’t possible.

“Yes. Thanks,” I tell him, closing my eyes. “I want to see the general. I need a little time to get myself together, and then I want to see him.”

“You and me both. Get some rest.” He squeezes my hip. I half expect him to leave, but he doesn’t. He stays right where he is until I fall asleep.

Maybe he doesn’t hate me as much as I thought. I really hope not. For some odd reason, I care what he thinks about me, even though I really shouldn’t.

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