Page 90 of Red Captive

“I’ve heard that people are very honest when they’re drunk out of their heads. Were you being honest, Jen? Were you being honest when—”

“I also said that I thought you and Natalia would make a great couple. I mean, she is the person you slept with, isn’t she?” I probably shouldn’t have asked. No, I shouldn’t have. Why did I? It isn’t my business.

His expression becomes serious. “It happened over a year ago. It meant nothing.”

“It didn’t look like nothing. I mean, don’t worry. Forget I asked.” I put some egg in my mouth to shut myself up.

“Natalia and I are friends.”

“No, you’re not. She kept putting her hand on your leg, and she was all over you for most of last night. You guys were chatting together and laughing. You both looked really cozy together. You didn’t look like friends, and I can tell you now that she doesn’t look at you like she thinks you’re her friend.” Whydoes my voice sound like that? I need to stop this conversation and right now.

“She kept putting her hand on my leg, and I kept taking it off. Maybe you missed that part.”

“She kissed you…on the mouth.”

Steel smiles. He uses a napkin to wipe his mouth.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask. “You know what? Forget I said anything. I shouldn’t have.”

“Firstly, you’re jealous. And then, secondly, she kissedmeandnotthe other way around. I was not happy about it in the slightest. You can’t tell me that you didn’t pick up on that either?”

I snort. “I’m not jealous. No way.” I shake my head. “There’s too much going on for me to be jealous. I have no idea what’s going to happen. Everything is up in the air. It’s one hell of a mess. I don’t have time to be jealous. There’s a bounty on your head and a reward offered for my safe return. It’s a shitshow right now. Once again, and I will repeat: I don’t have time to be jealous. I can’t be.”

“And yet you are, and you have absolutely nothing to be jealous about. Literally nothing.” Steel puts his hand on my back. It’s warm and big and comforting. I want to lean into him. I want so much more than I can have. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m going to say it anyway: I only have eyes for you, Jen. That’s it. Natalia must have picked up on that. She’s not usually that full-on. Not since I made it clear that it’s never going to happen between us. I don’t have feelings for her. I slept with her in a moment of weakness. I wasn’t in the best place at the time. I shouldn’t have. It’s over. You don’t have to be jealous.”

Craaaap! I don’t want to have this conversation.

“Look, we shouldn’t even be talking about this. We need to stick to the plan. Only, there isn’t a plan, Steel. What are we going to do?” I try to steer the conversation out of muddy waters.

“There is a plan.” His hand is still on my back, rubbing lazy circles. “I need to go and speak with Arctic, face-to-face. I’ll explain what happened. I’m sure he’ll believe me. He has to believe me. We were best friends once, so maybe he can find it in himself.”

“You and Arctic were best friends?”

Steel stops rubbing on my back, and I want to complain. I want to demand that he continue. I don’t.

Steel nods. “Yep. We were thick as thieves once. From when we were kids and all through school. I was there when he was inaugurated. I was best man at his mating ceremony.” His eyes get this faraway look.

“Wait a minute, I didn’t know that Arctic was married. There has been no talk of a queen.” I frown.

“That’s because his mate died.” His eyes get hazy, and his throat works.

“Oh, no! That’s terrible. He lost his wife. What happened?” Then, realization dawns. “Did it happen four years ago, by any chance?”

He nods. “Yes, and it was all my fault.”

“I doubt that very much. You’re very hard on yourself, Steel. You take everything onto your shoulders. I’m sure it wasn’t—”

“Nope, it’s all my fault. I’m completely to blame. Arctic wanted me to be beheaded for the part I played in his mate’s death.”

I gasp. “No, surely not? Your best friend wanted you to be put to death?”

“Yep. Ice stood up for me. He spoke in my favor. He got the conviction overturned, but he was wrong.”

“Don’t say that. You’re a good person, Steel. When I first met you, I wasn’t so sure of you, but I quickly realized that you were trying to do the right thing. That’s how you are. It’s how you’re wired. You’re good. I know it! You wouldn’t hurt anyone…unlessthey deserved it,” I quickly add. “I’m not sure what happened, but I don’t even need to know to say all of what I just did and with complete conviction. You can’t have been to blame.”

He gives me the saddest smile. I feel so bad for him. This thing that he has been carrying around for all these years is heavy. “That’s sweet of you to say, but Iamto blame. I didn’t pull the trigger of the gun that killed the queen…that killed Anya, but I may as well have done it myself.” His shoulders slump.

“That’s not true. I don’t believe a word of it.”

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