Page 88 of Red Captive

“Do you know what rhymes with duck? Do you?” She giggles. “I could show you.” She tries to give me a sloppy kiss, but I move away.

I smile. “Let’s get you into bed, beautiful.”

“I can’t sleep. I can’t! What about my teeth…my face…?” She falls back on the bed, slow-blinking. “I need to…um, brush…my…” Then she passes out. Jen lets out another one of those cute snores. It’s soft but very definitely there.

I cover her with a blanket. I kiss her on the forehead. Then, I watch her sleep for a while before I get ready for bed. I look longingly at the spot next to Jen, but I end up taking the couch.

29

Jen

I sit up, and my head feels like it’s going to explode. It’s still dark. I groan. My brain won’t work. Was I drugged…again? I must have been. It sure as hell feels like it. What happened to me? I groan again, reaching to where I hope is a bedside table, and almost knock the lamp flying.

“Shit,” I mutter. I fiddle for the switch and then wish I hadn’t turned the lights on.

It’s bright. My brain is breaking. It feels like it’s too big for my head. I squeeze my eyes shut until it becomes more bearable. Then I look around the room. I take in the sparse furnishings and the peeling paint. I look at the ceiling, and, yep, there is a water stain.

Dinner last night. All of it comes back. Okay, not all, but most – at least up until a certain point. I drank too much. I downed far too much champagne, and it got hazy from around dinner time. Actually, I remember some stuff and stop trying to remember more because it’s too embarrassing. I scrub a hand over my face, groaning.

There is a glass of water and two Tylenol on the bedside table. I’m alone. This apartment only has one bedroom and one bed, which means that Steel is on the sofa. It’s that or… I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to think about it. I take the pills and down the whole glass of water. Then I snuggle back up in bed and switch off the light. I lie there for a while, feeling miserable. Feeling like I’ll never manage to fall back asleep, but I do.

I only wake up when the light is streaming in between the gaps in the drapes. My head still hurts, but not as badly as before.

I sit up and sniff. I smell bacon cooking. My stomach clenches tight in protest and growls at the same time. I want to eat everything on this planet, but I’m not sure I’m up for it. I’m slightly nauseous. I’m sure it would be worse if it weren’t for the water and Tylenol Steel left for me.

I groan as I get out of bed. My legs feel like lead. I head to the bathroom and then recoil when I see myself in the mirror. I look like a raccoon who had a tussle with a bear. I look like the bear won. My hair is a mess. My make-up is smeared. My eyes are bloodshot. I’m wearing pajamas, but I don’t remember changing when I got back.

“Wait a minute,” I whisper. “Duck rhymes with…” I close my eyes and shake my head as more of last night comes back to me. Nope, I really don’t want to remember any of it. I get these flashes. Little drips and drabs of memory that have me wincing because it’s bad. Soooo bad.

I quickly turn on the shower and take my clothes off. Then I get in and wash, scrubbing myself all over. Then I stand under the stream of water for a while. Once I’m done, I switch the water off and towel myself dry. Thankfully, there are a whole host of toiletries, so I attempt to get the disgusting taste out of my mouth. It’s like I played tonsil hockey with the bear I wrestled with. It’s that, or I ate shit. I’m hoping neither. I brush my teeth asecond time, gagging when I brush my tongue. In the end, I feel much better, but still not great.

“I’m never drinking again,” I mutter as I wrap a towel around myself. I still have bloodshot eyes and pale skin, but overall, I look much better. I smell infinitely better. It’ll have to do.

It doesn’t take me long to pull on oversized sweats and a T-shirt. I don’t bother with underwear, which means I’ll fit right in with the women who work at The Pit. I’m not sure why I’m even bothering with the clothes. I take a deep breath, hand on the door handle. I don’t want to face him. I don’t! Then again, he might not even be here. He might be with her.

No, he will be here but only out of a sense of loyalty, a sense of duty. Steel is the kind of guy who will want to see this assignment through and keep me safe. I’m sure he’d prefer to be catching up with his sexy friend. I really don’t want to think about that. How they chatted and laughed together. It was easy to see they had a history.

Crap! I hate the jealousy that still burns through me.

Steel is not mine. He never will be. It was just sex. I need to get over it already. I will keep telling myself that until it actually works.

My whole life is in the toilet and my family’s future is at stake but all I can do is think about Steel and Natalia. I need to get my head on straight and focus on what is important. Namely, them, my mom and Caleb. It always has to be about them.

I pull in one more fortifying breath, and then I walk out of the bedroom. Someone up above must seriously hate me because Steel is wearing a pair of faded jeans and nothing else. His back is turned because he is cooking something on the stove. Bacon, from the fantastic smell that hits me. My mouth waters. Steel’s back is on full display. I just stand there and admire the view with my bloodshot eyes. He glances over his shoulder and smiles at me.

I go weak at the freaking knees. I blame the excess from last night for my body reacting like this. It isn’t him. Nope! It’s just not.

Focus!

“Morning. You look far better than I expected. How did you sleep?”

“I’m not sure if that constitutes a compliment or not.” Definitely not a compliment at all. I can tell that he is running through the events of last night. About all the things I said. I groan inwardly. This is terrible. What was I thinking? “I actually slept pretty well. Thank you for the water and the headache pills. I think I might have been singing a different tune if not for those.”

“No problem. You were a little out of it.” He gives me a half-smile. I really do prefer it when he’s brooding and angry. I don’t like him all happy because I threw my name away.

I begged him to have sex with me.

To spank me.

---