Page 123 of Deuce

After a few minutes of eating in silence, I finally spoke.

“Is he still here?” I asked.

She nodded. “Wearing down my damn couch. When are you gonna talk to that man, Salima?”

Deuce had been at my mother’s all week long. Even though I expressed to him that I needed some time to myself, he didn’t listen. My mom allowed him to camp out in our living room. He never came into my room, but I knew he was here.

Every day, he sent me flowers with handwritten notes. He sent me texts letting me know he loved me, and he missed me. My mother and Shar had basically become like carrier pigeons with messages from him. Both of them begged me to talk to him, but I couldn’t right now.

My mind had images of all the blood and carnage on constant repeat. I still felt the brain matter splatter against the side of my face when I shot one of those goons in the head. I could feel the weight of the gun in my hand and the kickback when I pulled the trigger. The continuous rounds of gunshots rang in my head.

I didn’t know if or when I could get past that. Sure, I knew what he did for a living. I met him doing his job. I just didn’t think I’d end up being this much a part of it a second time.

“Mommy, I don’t know. I don’t blame him. It’s just… every time I look at him, I replay that night in my head. I can’t stop seeing the images or hearing the gunshots. I’m so thankful that he saved me, but I just need time.”

She nodded. “I understand. I’ve seen some things in my day, too, baby. I think you should see a therapist.”

I hung my head. “You’re probably right. I’m probably gonna go back to my apartment soon. I have to try and get back to regular life at some point. My classes start next week, so that will be a good distraction.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

I nodded. “I have to be. Life goes on.” I sighed heavily as I held up a hand to stop her from feeding me. “I’m full. I just wanna take a nap.”

“Okay, baby.”

My mother stood from the bed and cupped my face. She placed a tender kiss to my forehead and grabbed the tray of food before heading for my door. When she opened it, there stood, Shar, preparing to knock.

“Hey, Auntie Karen.”

“Hey, baby. Salima is about to take a nap.”

“Perfect. I’ll take one with her.”

She kissed my mom on the cheek and slipped past her into the room. My mother smiled and shook her head as she closed the door. Shar kicked off her shoes and tossed her bag at the foot of my bed before climbing in.

“I’m not in the mood for company, Sharina.”

“Good thing I’m not company.” She slid under my covers and patter her chest. “Come lay your head on these titties and let’s get to this nap.”

I bit back the smile trying to find its way to my lips. I could never not smile with her. Even if I wanted to be alone, my bestie would always have my back. I rolled over and laid my head onher chest and my arm around her waist. She gently stroked my back in a soothing manner.

For the longest time, we laid in silence. I was almost asleep when she called my name.

“Salima?” she said softly.

“Hmmm?”

“I was so scared I lost you.”

We hadn’t talked about that night since the night I came home. She told me she felt guilty about not getting to me in time. She felt she should have been there with me and I had to let her know not to feel like that.

“I’m still here,” I said, hugging her tightly.

“I don’t know what I would do without you. You aren’t just my bestie, you’re my sister. I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist.”

I giggled slightly. “You know we both have to leave this earth at some point, right?”

“Bitch, you better not die before me. I’m turning your funeral out. I might even flip over the casket. Don’t play with me.”

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