Page 60 of Never Enough

I grunt in appreciation as I ease into the heat. The water feels like a thick, comforting blanket, enveloping me and soothing the ache in my leg. As I settle in, I feel the weight of bodies pressing against me from all sides. The hot tub is a tight squeeze, a human puzzle piece where everyone fits together whether they want to or not.

For a moment, the tension seems to melt away. The worries of the party, of Celeste, of everything, fade into the background as I let the warmth of the water wash over me. I close my eyes and breathe in the steam, trying to savor this brief respite.

Victoria giggles as someone splashes her, while Celeste squeezes too close to me. Then, in one quick motion, she sits right on my lap.

“Hey!” I start, the impulse to push her away itching at my palms.

Before I can finish, she turns to me, her eyes wide and pleading. “Friends are comfortable with one another. You’re making me feel like a stranger, Alexandru.” Her voice is a soft whisper, meant only for me.

My muscles tense. She’s got that look, the one that used to make me cave every time, a mixture of vulnerability and determination that I’ve always found irresistible. Plus, she used my entire first name as if she’s a stranger, like she said. I never wanted that. I still care about her as a person.

“Besides,” she breathes, her lips brushing my ear. “You stutter when you’re anxious.” A pause. “Just let go.”

I don’t want to stutter. Not here, not in front of everyone. Relenting, I nod.

“Right. So, let go. Have fun.” Her smile spreads wide, revealing a flash of dimples.

I swallow hard, feel the warmth of the water seep into my bones. It’s supposed to relax me, but it doesn’t. The weight of Celeste’s presence, combined with the chaos of the hot tub, only serves to heighten my anxiety.

I’m making a mistake, but once again, I’m stuck in my coffin.

Chapter twenty-two

Daphne

Isit on the plush, cream-colored couch, my arms wrapped tightly around my knees. The silence of the apartment is suffocating, amplifying the emptiness that echoes within me. Alex told me he is visiting his dad tonight, and I want to believe him, but doubt gnaws at my mind. The thought of being alone in this space crushes me. All because of the letter my mom sent me.

Something’s wrong. I can sense it.

I’m probably just feeling lonely because, an hour ago, I had the crowd cheering for WU surrounding me. Yet even then, I was alone. In the VIP section, Victoria basked while Celeste practically glued herself to Alex’s side, hugging and cooing at him whenever he was near the sidelines.

Ugh. I’m just jealous; that’s what this is.

I’m jealous of my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.

Pathetic.

I’m trying to remain a patient girlfriend, but I’m losing my grip. Every time Alex ignores me in public is like a knife to the kidneys.Take halftime, for example. What the fuck was that? Rodge blatantly disrespected me, even called me desperate, and Alex didn’t defend me.

I can’t control him, but I can control my own actions and how I react. I’m not ready to give up on our relationship.

Again, this is exactly why I’m not telling him about my mom reaching out to me. The last thing he needs is drama from my issues. I don’t think he can emotionally handle it.

So, what can I do right now if I don’t want to put more stress on him, afraid he’ll break under the pressure like he did before?

I’m not one to give ultimatums, but I will schedule something fun for us to do in advance, expecting we’ll go together. It’ll be two-fold: a celebration of his last game and a deadline for us to move forward together. Something special to show him how proud I am.

I grab my laptop from the end table and start mindlessly searching for events near us.

Inspiration strikes as I stumble upon an ad for a cooking class with renowned Chef Moreno. It’s next month. I know Alex would be ecstatic; he’s a huge fan of Moreno’s show. In my mind, I can already see us laughing and clumsily trying out new recipes together. By then, we won’t have to hide our relationship anymore because Ican’t allow the state of our relationship to continue. We’ve reached a point where he has to choose intimacy with Celeste or me.

Honestly, it feels like I’m holding onto the past a bit. But I still love him; even this version of Alex is the one that I love. The way we calm each other, the way he watches me play like he truly enjoys it. His smile, his love for family despite their complications.

Most of all, he’s resilient. So fucking resilient. More on that later.

Turning my attention back to my laptop, I scroll down the page of the cooking class to find the date and price. Unfortunately, it’s more than I can afford, but for Alex, it’s worth it.

Until I have a wild idea. I could apply for a credit card or get a part-time job. It could work. As long as it means making Alex happy.

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