Page 44 of Never Enough

Am I annoyed that she hasn’t told her parents that we’re broken up yet? Absolutely. My patience is wearing thin, but not thin enough to embarrass her in front of both our parents and her best friend.

That’s what I need to remember. It’s not like this is a campus party. Her favorite people are at my house. Plus, she promised that this is the last time.

Celeste’s parents arrived late, making me think that this is more of a social get-together than the business meeting I thought it was.

Now, we’re all eating. Myself, Daph, Vic, Celeste, Mom, and Celeste’s parents—Tim and Lanka.

I’m seated at the head of the long dining table, my sister Victoria to one side, her brown eyes sharp as they observe everyone, and Celeste on the other, her manicured hand finding my thigh under the tablecloth.

“Alex, darling,” she coos, leaning closer than necessary, her perfume overpowering the rich aroma of the roasted lamb. “You’ve barely touched your food.”

A forced smile tugs at my lips, my appetite waning under the weight of her expectation. My gaze flits across the table to Daphne, her hazel eyes downcast, fingers gently resting on her wine glass. Her presence is a balm, yet the distance between us might as well be an ocean.

“Sorry,” I murmur, trying to shift away discreetly. “Not very hungry tonight.”

“Maybe you need some dessert, then?” Celeste suggests with a wink that’s meant to be sultry but feels suffocating.

“Perhaps later,” I deflect, feeling the heat of Daphne’s gaze yet unable to meet it.

“Can’t wait for the wedding,” Lanka gushes from across the table.

I choke on air. News to me! She had better mean someone else’s wedding and not mine!

“Uh, excuse me?” I exclaim. Absolutely-fucking-not are we going to pretend we’re engaged. Likewise, my Daphne’s features pale while Celeste gleams.

“Don’t be shy, darling,” my own mother chimes like a traitor. She then ignores me by opting to speak to my so-not-mother-in-law. “Oh, imagine the beautiful babies they’ll have.”

“Actually,” I start, the word slicing through the buzz of future plans laid out without our consent. “Celeste and I aren’t engaged.” The room stills, and I feel the tension coil tighter.

“Yet,” Celeste hastily adds, her grip on my leg tightening. “But we’re getting there, aren’t we, babe?” Her voice carries a warning, one I’m all too familiar with.

I remember a time I thought I’d never get married. I can’t forget the bullies who made my life hell, the unbearable weight of loneliness that made me question my worth. Celeste dragged me out of that darkness, her vivacious nature drawing everyone to her, including me.

But now, she has become a heavy weight keeping me inside my depression coffin. It’s pulling me back into that same darkness. Adeep sense of guilt wells up inside me as I think about what it’d feel like to lose her. But the thought of losing Daphne hurts even more, reminiscent of a gnawing pain in my chest.

I tense, trying to think of what to say. If I agree, I’ll devastate Daphne. Yet if I disagree, I’ll destroy the woman I’ve spent the last eight years with.

Betraying Daphne would devastateme. I glance at her, her eyes filled with a mix of hurt. I want to reach out to her, to tell her that I love her in front of everyone, but I can’t.

Not yet. Not when Celeste is so vulnerable.

Victoria looks between Celeste and me. Her studious gaze seems to assess both of us. Then, she must sense my discomfort because she quickly comes to my rescue. “It’s an inside joke,” she explains. “Last week, we were all talking about marriage, and both Alex and Celeste decided they’d rather focus on finishing college and their careers before even broaching the subject.”

“Oh,” Mom begins. “But they’ve been dating for so long.”

Victoria shrugs. “It’s their lives.”

The insistent darkness trickling through my veins temporarily lessens. My sister could have sided with her best friend, but she chose me.

In this moment, I can breathe.

Daphne seems to relax a fraction too as her knuckles loosen around the stem of her wine glass. There’s a clarity in her eyes that wasn’t there before, a spark that I’ve missed.

“Of course,” Lanka says in an attempt to smooth over the awkwardness. “We’ll stand by whatever decisions they make.”

“Thank you,” I say, but the gratitude is hollow. I can’t help but wonder how much longer I can play this game without breaking myself or Daphne’s heart. It’s a precarious balance, this deceit. One wrong step could crumble everything.

Celeste just tightens her grip on my thigh and forces a smile. It’s not genuine; it’s as choreographed as everything else about her. She’s angry, but she won’t show it here, not in front of everyone.

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