Page 80 of The Rescue

“All I ever wanted when I was a wee lad was to have a big family and to be happy, and I’ve finally got those two things. I can’t keep living my life in fear that people are going to leave me, because what kind of life is that? Crystal has shown me that. I’m not scared anymore,” I tell my two best friends.My brothers.

They both look at me now with complete shock written all over their faces and then they soften at me. I’ve never been this open with them before, but it feels amazing to finally get this off my chest.

Cam places a large hand on my shoulder and pulls me in for a bear hug. I wrap my arm around him, whilst Hamish pats me on the back. They both smile at me as we break our brotherly moment.

“I’m happy for you,” Cam finally smiles at me.

“A-aye, although now I’m the o-only single one now,” Hamish stutters.

Cam and I both look at Hamish and then back to Fiona sitting at the table and chuckle to each other. Hamish follows both of our eyes and his face flushes. He clearly thinks everyone is oblivious to his feelings for Fiona, but we’ve both known for years that they have feelings for each other.

“Brother, you need to tell her how you feel,” I pass him his drink from the bar.

Hamish chokes on his beer and splutters. Cam breaks out in a loud boisterous laugh, and I can’t help but laugh at how Hamish is freaking out.

“I-I dinny k-know what you m-mean,” He stutters a bit more because he’s clearly nervous.

The fear in his eyes tells me everything I need to know about how scared he is that this is common knowledge. He chugs most of his beer, and I order him another one.

“It’s okay mate, we wouldn’t say anything,” I reassure him.

He relaxes a little bit, and finishes off his drink. I hand him the one I just ordered for him and give him a soft pat on the back.

“T-thanks,” he shakily takes a sip of his beer.

“Come on, let’s get back to our girls,” I tell both my brothers.

We make our way back over to the table, and the girls are still talking about the launch party and what type of decorations they will get. Hamish always sits next to Fiona but as she smiles and scooches over on the bench to make room for him, he sits on the other side of the table. Fiona frowns slightly at this, and darts her eyes to me and Cam. I try to keep a poker face, and not give anything away but Fiona knows me and she narrows her eyes at me. Hamish is clearly in his own head, and has made it obvious that something is wrong.

I try to break the weird tension because the girls clearly have their suspicions now. I don’t usually like to gossip anymore since I know Crystal hates it but Hamish is starting to sweat and I need to help out my brother.

“Did you hear that Mr Hodkingson got drunk and walked into a streetlamp and has a black eye? Mrs Hodkingson has put him on a ban from The Drunken Duck for the foreseeable future, she even came in and shouted at Mac like he was a naughtywee school boy for allowing her husband to get so drunk,” I tell everyone.

I hope my gossiping doesn’t upset Crystal, but I think she can sense the weird tension between Hamish and Fiona too. Everyone looks up from their drinks and breaks out in roaring laughter. Hamish claps me on the back with a thankful glare. Crystal winks at me as she takes a sip of her drink. I relax knowing she isn’t bothered by it.

We spend the rest of the evening drinking and laughing. There’s less awkwardness between Hamish and Fiona as the drinks continue to flow. I look around the table, and across the pub at all the locals enjoying their evening, and I couldn’t remember a time when I was this happy.

29

Rabbie

The next day went by quickly,I was busy in the kitchen baking Christmas orders and Crystal was out the front working away on planning the launch party for the website. Originally it would’ve made sense to have the launch party here in the cafe but I wanted to invite everyone in Crossmackie, and Sweet Treats is way too small to fit everyone in. It was a no-brainer that I was going to invite the whole town because they have been my constant support throughout the years of working here, and eventually becoming the owner. I wanted to show them how much I appreciated them by inviting them all to the launch party which is also now doubling as a little Christmas party as it’s so close to Christmas.

After talking about it over drinks last night we collectively agreed that The Drunken Duck would be the best venue to hold the launch party. Everyone usually comes here at night time anyways so it made sense that it should be here. Mac washappy to offer The Drunken Duck as a venue, I told him that I would pay a venue hire fee and he laughed at me and shook his head. The generosity of this community,mycommunity, is overwhelming. That’s what we do in Crossmackie: we help each other out.

I told him that I would be paying for all the drinks and food, he tried to refuse of course but I put my foot down and told him that I was paying him whether he liked it or not.

Today was busy, but I can’t recall a time where I felt this content in my life, everything is finally falling into place. I’ve realised that this happened when I stopped running away from my doubts and anxious thoughts. When I stopped fighting my feelings towards Crystal. Taking that leap of faith was the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m no longer terrified of the future or the past, I’m completely content living in the present.

I look up at the clock in the kitchen and realise it’s way past closing time. I don’t get time to stop this time of the year, it’s my busiest Christmas season yet. I’ve made over a hundred Christmas orders already and they aren’t slowing down. Today has been a little busier than usual. I hear Nellie and Crystal in the front of the cafe chatting away as they close the cafe, and I could’ve sworn my mum was meant to be here today to help. Crystal has been helping Nellie on the days my mum isn’t scheduled to work. I told her she doesn’t need to but she insisted on it, she told me she feels terrible that she sits at the table whilst Nellie is rushing around her cleaning.

That worrying pit starts to form in my stomach, the one that I used to get a lot when I was a wee lad. The one of dread that my mum wasn’t going to show up. I haven’t had that feeling in a long time. I try to offer my anxious mind a simple explanation, and try not to get myself worked up over it. The years of being constantly let down by empty promises clearly has taken its toll on me. I shake my head. I knew this would happen, so Ishouldn’t be as disappointed as I am. There was a tiny shred of hope that she really meant what she said about trying to change when she approached me in the hall on St. Andrews day, but I guess that was another empty promise.

I start packing away my kitchen in silent frustration when my mum comes rushing through the back door, a look of panic on her face.

“Rabbie, I’m sorry I’m late. The bus broke down on the way here, and then my phone died so I couldn’t call the cafe to let you know. I tried to get here as quickly as I could but the rain slowed me down, ” She wipes wet hair from her face. She’s soaking wet and out of breath.

I blink at my mum in shock, the heavy feeling of dread slowly fading.

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