Page 57 of The Rescue

“Where’s my baby girl?” She pops up on the screen.

She’s perfectly made up, I expect nothing less. Her platinum blonde hair is big and styled to perfection. The southern belle style. Her makeup is flawless, and she’s dressed in her best church clothes. Her diamonds are big but tasteful they glisten like stars on the screen.

“Happy Thanksgiving mama,” I try to plaster a smile on my face.

“And to you darlin’, I hope you had a lovely day,” she smiles.

I’m surprised she isn’t lecturing me about how much I ate. I’m shocked to say the least. I start to relax a little, and begin to think this conversation is going to be a pleasant one.

She peers in closer to the screen and I start to shift uncomfortably. She squints at me, and then the full blown paranoia kicks in.

“You’re breaking out, hunnie. I told you not to wear heavy makeup. It will make you break out.”

My hopes of a nice conversation are quickly dashed, I knew it was too good to be true. I feel the anger rushing through me. I try to bite my lip to stop myself from lashing out at her. In all her overbearingness I still love my mama and I would never raise my voice to her, that’s the way I was raised. You respect your elders.

“I hope you had controlled portions today, I know how much you love desserts.” Her words are like little cuts to my skin.

I know Rabbie is sitting behind me listening to my mama speaking to me this way, and the embarrassment engulfs me. The way I stuck up for myself against Mrs. MacNee, and the things I said to Rabbie’s mom coming flooding back. I was able to stand my ground with them, so why can’t I do it with my mama. The constant comments about how I look or behave have finally worn me down, and I can’t take it anymore. My mama is still talking but all I can hear is the blood whooshing in my ears and the anger slowly creeping up.

“Mama! Stop.” I finally snap.

She stops dead, her eyes widen in shock. I’ve never raised my voice to her.

“I’ve had enough of you speaking to me like this. My whole life you’ve always criticised me about something. My makeup, clothes, what I eat, going to college, how I should behave as a proper southern woman. I can’t take it anymore. If you can’t say anything nice to me then maybe we shouldn’t talk at all.” I say laying down a boundary I didn’t know I was capable of setting.

Her mouth falls open, and her eyes grow teary. Oh shit, I didn’t want to make her cry.

“Oh, Crystal.” She covers her mouth.

I don’t know what to say, I finally feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can’t believe I’ve finally told her how I feel.

“My sweet girl, I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you feel bad about yourself.” she dips her head. “I told myself when I had a little girl that I would never be like my mama who always nitpicked at me. I’m just like her, and I didn’t even realise,” She covers her face.

Well, I didn’t expect the conversation to go this way. I feel guilty that I’ve made her feel bad and it slowly swallows me whole.

“I’m sorry, how can you ever forgive me? I only want the best for you, and I see now that I’ve overstepped.” She wipes a tear away.

“Oh mama. How did we get like this?” I run my hand over my face.

“I don’t know, I promise I’ll change the way I speak to you. I don’t want you to stop talking to me,” she looks worried. I can see the stress all over her face at the thought of me not speaking to her.

“Good, because I don’t want that to happen. I want you to be happy for me, and supportive of the way I want to live my life,” I admit.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve been trying to force you to be someone who you’re not. You’re so much braver than me, I really admire you for that.”

“Thanks, mama. Please don’t cry, you’ll ruin your makeup,” I laugh trying to make the situation light.

A small laugh escapes her lips as she wipes another tear away.

“I’m sorry darlin’. I love you so much.”

“I love you too mama. We’ll talk more soon. I can’t wait to see you for Christmas. Go and enjoy the rest of your Thanksgiving. Give daddy and the boys a hug for me.” I blow a kiss to her.

“I will, darlin’. We miss you.” Her shoulders relax a tad, and she blows a kiss back to me. I still see the worry written across her face as I end the call.

I close my laptop and slump back in my chair. I close my eyes and swallow the tears back. I refuse to cry over this stupid situation anymore. I’ve finally said how I truly feel and she tookit onboard. I can only hope that we continue to work at our relationship and move past this.

“Well done, mo beag,” Rabbie’s voice is soft behind me.

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