Page 107 of Worth Every Game

As if my words have summoned him, I catch sight of him coming through the door I just left. He looks distraught, and seeing him like that, as devastated as I am by our fight, wrenches my guts into a tight knot. I grip Kate’s arm, and she turns to see what I’m looking at before quickly turning back to me, eyes popping wide as she says, “What happened?”

I squeeze her arm tighter. “Let’s go. Please.”

Kate hesitates, and then I remember it’s Nico’s party. She can’t ditch her boyfriend’s party for me. Jack is getting closer to us with every second that passes, and I can’t face him now.This is his fault. It’s all his fault…

I tug away from Kate and run for the exit.Where the fuck am I going to go?I can’t go back to the house. Jack will follow me, and I can’t lock him out this time.

I hurry out onto the street and call Marie.

“Hey,” she answers.

“Can I stay with you?”

There’s a brief silence, and in the background, I hear her boyfriend’s voice. “She’s seen that video, hasn’t she?”

Fuck.Everyone knows.

Marie’s voice cuts through my panic. “I’ll buzz you in. See you soon, babe.”

I spill my heart out to Marie, and she sits and takes it all in without judgement. Her boyfriend, Kevin, goes out for a walk so we can be alone. We sit together on her tiny sofa, and I tell her everything I did with Jack, although she knows most of it already.

“He took those photos?” she interjects at one point. “Shit.”

I tell her that yes, he took them, and yes, I let him, and yes, I’m an idiot and yes, somehow they’re all over the internet now. I tell her that Jack lied about deleting them, but claims he has no idea how they got out.

I don’t know what to believe, and I don’t know what to think. Marie says very little, and although it’s good to talk, it feels like I’m speaking to a wall. She’s never been my first choice of a shoulder to cry on, but she’s here, listening, and I love heranyway. But the pressure to hold it together in front of her, even though inside I feel like I’m dying, is immense.

The doorbell rings, and Marie glances up, then back at me, before she shrugs and gets up to open the door.

“Oh, Elly,” Kate’s plaintive voice fills the room as she stands in the doorway, taking in the sight of me. I’m a tear-stained wreck.

I stand to greet her but immediately cover my face with my hands.Could this get any worse?My heart is galloping, trying to escape the prison that is my ribcage. If I could, I’d run. Kate is my best friend, and I share everything with her… butthis… this is next-level humiliation. If she’s here, she must have seen those photos… photos her brother took. She’s seen…everything.

I want to disappear. Barricade myself into a cupboard and hide, but I can’t because she’s here, staring at me.

I drop my hands, and her eyes lock onto mine. Her face crumples as a slideshow of emotion passes over her face, and sadness crawls right up my throat until my vision blurs and my eyelids prick.

She closes the distance between us, throwing her arms around me. “I’m so sorry,” she says. The sympathy destroys my defences, and I burst into tears, and Kate only holds me tighter. “Oh, don’t cry. Please don’t cry. You’re so amazing and wonderful and I wish I could be more like you, posing for pictures like that. You’re free and gorgeous and owning your sexuality and proud of it and I love you. Please don’t be embarrassed. Not in front of me.”

I cry harder, wishing her words were true, but I’m not free and owning my sexuality. I’m dying of shame and hating myself for being an idiot.Maybe Mrs Lansen was right. I’m nothing but a stupid slut.

“You left the party,” I croak when my weeping eases.

“Of course I did.”

“But Nico—”

“He’s fine. I’ll go back, but I couldn’t let you leave without checking you’re okay.” She rubs a hand over my back. “Jack told me what happened.”

The mention of Jack’s name burns like a flame, and I physically recoil. Kate’s arms snap off me and she steps back, eyes wary.

“Sorry,” I mutter. “I can’t think about him now. I’m so angry.”

Kate nods. “Okay. That’s okay. We’ll work this out.”

She sounds like Jack, wanting to fix everything. A lump rises in my throat and I worry I’m going to cry again, because how on earth can anyone fix this?

I wake the following morning when a weight drops onto the end of the sofa. I slept here all night, curled up with a blanket draped over me. I open my eyes to see Marie sitting by my feet, a guitar in her lap.

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