Page 106 of Worth Every Game

“The best? There is no ‘best’ here.” Her face turns hard. “Everything’s ruined. The damage is done. I’m a slut and the whole world knows it.”

“A million people is not the whole world,” I blurt in a clumsy attempt to ease her concern, but she lets out a sob of a laugh, and I wish I’d contradicted the slut part of her statement instead. I scramble for something to say that will calm her down. If she’d only take a decent breath, she’d see that this really isn’t as disastrous as she thinks it is.

“You pushed me too fucking far and then threw me to the dogs.” She clenches her jaw, but the rest of her body shakes. She turns to walk away, but I’m not going to let her.

I grab her elbow. My heart is racing so hard I can barely think. “That was the best night of my life. Finally being with you…fuck. Those pictures are precious to me. I’m sorry I kept them. I am…so fucking sorry. If I could go back in time, I’d never have taken them. Having you in my life is worth a million pictures, and I’m an idiot not to have known it. But I didn’t share them. I didn’t do it. Tell me you believe me. You know I wouldn’t do that. Youknowit.”

I want to hold her, to soothe her, but there’s too much resistance. She’ll only push me away.

She tugs her elbow out of my grip. “It doesn’t matter if you did or you didn’t. They wereyourphotos. And now that they’re out there, you dare to say it might be a good thing? Fuck you.” Shebreathes heavily, then repeats, “Fuck you,” in a tone that makes my stomach feel like it’s been slit open with a knife.

“Damn it, El.” My voice comes out full of pain. “Everything I did was for you. I only wanted to help.”

She’s quiet, her chest rising and falling aggressively with each breath. “Well, thanks. You’ve helped me. You’ve made your fucking mark on my life, Jack Lansen, and I really,reallywish I could delete it. I wish I’d never listened to you. I wish I’d never let you in.”

My throat feels clogged.Is she ending this?“What does that mean?”

Her chin trembles as she turns away from me, but I march after her and spin her back to face me. Tears are falling freely down her blotchy cheeks, and the sight of them causes my stomach to cramp and a dull ache to spread through my torso. “What does that mean?” I repeat, my voice low and hoarse.

She swallows as though there’s a great fucking lump in her throat too. “I can’t…” she stammers and breaks off, shaking her curls at me. “I can’t do this. I can’t be who you want me to be.”

The ache spreading through me threatens to send me to my knees.Don’t fucking leave me.I reach for her hand, hooking my fingertips onto hers. “I don’t want you tobeanything. I just want you to be you. Exactly as you are.”

She holds my gaze, her eyes watery and bloodshot, and for a second, I think she’s going to relent. Then she snatches her hand from mine and says, “I don’t believe you.” She throws the words up like a barricade, and I know to my core that even if I held her down and yelled in her ear, nothing I said would get through to her.

37

ELLY

Nothing has ever felt this bad. I’m clutching my chest as I hurry away. My entire world is falling apart, and I deserve it. I brought this on myself, falling for someone like Jack Lansen, losing my mind for him, trusting him. And worse than that, I let him influence my career. I let him set me on this upwards trajectory… I gave himcontrol.

He hooked me with hope, making me believe it was possible to be greater than I was, and that maybe I deserved more.So fucking cruel. I thought this time it would be different. I thought Jack would be there for me, to help me…. Tosaveme.

How could I have been so foolish?

I feel sick. Those photos, out in the world, for everyone to see. Me, my body, strewn across the piano. My legs spread… the most intimate parts of me exposed and shared a million times over.

How is this possible?

My mind goes into overdrive, thoughts racing like drunk drivers on a motorway. I can’t get a handle on them until one thought booms louder than all the rest:Jack must have sharedthe pictures.He said he didn’t, but there’s no other way they could have got out. He’s the only one who had them.

I can’t contain the agony that’s splitting me open. Jack’s cum is still leaking out of me as I push through the party. It strikes me as unbelievably cruel... I’m trying to escape him, and part of him is still inside me…

I hate him for putting me in this situation. How dare he come into my life with his ‘fix this, do that, make this happen’ attitude. He can shove that shit up his perfect arse.

I catch sight of Kate in the crowd, smiling at me, but when she sees me—I must look a mess—her face falls. I push past her. I can’t do this. I can’t talk to her. Not now…

She runs after me, calling my name. “Elly, stop. What’s wrong?”

Her features are creased with concern and seeing her staring at me like that makes my heart break all over again. I try to explain, but the words won’t come. She’ll discover soon enough; everyone will. I need to get out of here.

Kate grips my shoulders. “What is it?”

I start to sob. “I want to go home.”

She puts her arms around me. “I’ll get Jack. He can take you.”

Jack’s name lances through me like a laser beam, and I pull out of her embrace, almost doubling over with the impact. “No. Not Jack.” The tears well up, choking me. “I can’t see him. Not now.”

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