Page 7 of Head Above Water

“Nothing. Unless you’re supposed to figure things out and spend the rest of your life in his shadow. No matter what I do, I’m compared to my father. If I tell Danny what I want, the first thing he does is check with my father, like I’m some teenager.”

Hazard sat still. “Your father is the boss, and everyone on the ranch wants to please him. He gave me a job when I turned eighteen, and I’m grateful to him. I know my mom has worked for the family for a long time, but he didn’t have to do that.” He took a gulp of beer. “Not after the hell I put my mom through.” His teenage years had been filled with rebellion and enough angst and acting up to fill an encyclopedia. “You know I got busted for drinking when I was sixteen and pot a year later. I did it all back then. And you know how your dad feels about that stuff.”

“Yeah, I do.” Bryce lifted his head, and Burt came down. He ordered another beer and a glass of water. Burt refilled the mug and added a water before heading to the register to put it in. “I caught hell for drinking too. And for smoking. Dad found me behind the barn and blistered my ass. I’m not sure if he was madder about the smoking or the possibility of setting the stable on fire. Either way, I couldn’t sit down for two days.”

“That’s just it. Your dad can be tough, but he also believes in second chances.”

“Well, if I mess this shit up, there aren’t going to be any second chances for any of us.” Laughter rose from the tablewhere the others sat, and Hazard looked over, smiling a little as the men jostled each other. “You should go on over and be with them. They are a hell of a lot more fun than I’m going to be.”

Hazard stayed where he was, figuring Bryce needed to talk more than he needed to listen to the guys jawing about whatever girls they had their eye on. So when Burt asked if he wanted his food at the bar, he nodded, and Sally brought it to him when it was ready.

“Dad is sick, and it’s probably pretty bad. So I have to take over for him.”

“Is that all?” Hazard said. “You’ve lived on this ranch your whole life and know it as well as anyone else. You know what needs to be done and when to take the cattle to market. And if there’s stuff you don’t, my mom does. She’s been helping your dad for years. She keeps all the herd records and does the books for him.” He wanted to pat his hand, but he didn’t dare touch Bryce, not in a bar—or anywhere, for that matter. “You don’t have to do this alone. You got plenty of people who are here to help.”

Bryce sighed. “It feels like I have this weight settling on me, and I don’t know if I can handle it—or if I want to.” He turned to Hazard. “I used to dream of getting the hell out of this town. It was all I wanted. My mother has relatives in Germany, and she sent me over to visit them when I was seventeen. I think she figured my father and I needed some time away from each other.” Hazard could understand that. “I got to see an entire world that’s so different from this, and I want that. I….”

“You want more than the ranch, but you’re stuck now,” Hazard supplied, and Bryce shrugged as though it didn’t matter. And maybe in a way it didn’t.

“Life is the way it is,” Bryce said, “and I just need to accept it.”

“Or at least you do for now. If you take over and run things well, then that will take some of the stress off your dad. Maybe then he’ll be able to get better and take over again, and you can go out in the world like you want. This is a hard life, and it’s worse for someone who feels trapped into it.”

“Did you ever want out of here?” Bryce asked just as Hazard took a bite of his burger. He chewed and swallowed.

“Almost every day of my life. I always figured there had to be more than cleaning up after horses and cattle, checking fences, and running full speed ahead of a storm to batten down the hatches. It always seems like we’re hoping and praying for something. Either for it to rain or for it to stop raining before the flood washes everything away.” He ate some fries and offered some to Bryce. “You need to give yourself a break.”

“But the job is so huge.”

“Not if you take it one day at a time. You may have some learning to do, but like I said, there are plenty of people who can help. All you gotta do is ask.” He took another bite of the burger. “And as far as Danny is concerned….” He leaned closer. “Show him who the boss is.”

Bryce turned, looking at him as though he were crazy. “How?”

“Take charge and lay down the law. If you are going to take over for your father, then demand to be treated the same way he is. If you make a decision, then enforce it. Listen to opinions but make your own decision and then go with it. Danny needs to take direction from you, and if he can’t, then replace him.” Hazard could hardly believe he was suggesting such a thing. It seemed like treason. “I don’t think it will come to that.”

“My father would have a fit,” Bryce said.

“Maybe. But you have to stand up to him too. If you’re going to take charge, then he has to get behind you… and your mother as well.” He ate a few fries. “I have your back, and so will most ofthe men once you take charge. They want someone to lead, and your dad always did that.”

“But how will I know what he wants?” Bryce asked.

Hazard looked deeply into those blue eyes. “You won’t. You’ll make the decisions according to your judgment, not his. Go with your gut, and don’t worry about what your dad would do.” Hazard swallowed hard. “I know you can do it.”

Bryce sighed. “You’re the only one.”

“No, I’m not. You know you can do it too. Just stop second-guessing yourself.”

He smiled slightly. “How did you get to be so smart?” Damn, the intensity in that gaze left Hazard feeling warm, and he signaled for a second—and last—beer.

“I don’t know. Maybe you can see what someone else should do even when you have no idea what to do in your life.” He finished his burger and set his plate aside. “I know that no matter what I say, I’ll probably work on a ranch for the rest of my life. My mother is here, and she’s the only family I have. I can’t just leave her.”

“I get that. But wouldn’t it be fun to run away for a little while and just do what you want? No expectations or pressure from anyone else? I dream of that sometimes.” He pushed his beer away. “I have no idea why I’m telling you all this. I never talk about stuff like this with anyone.”

“Maybe you need to, and maybe you know that I’m not going to blab all over anywhere.” He asked for a glass of water and drank it down when Burt brought it. “It’s good to have a friend you can trust.”

Bryce nodded slowly. “You’re right, it really is.” And for the first time that evening, he smiled. But it didn’t last long as Harm Carsen, one of the hands from the Circle C across the county, began lumbering over. The man was huge and about as smartas a box of rocks, and tonight, it seemed that Harm had already dulled whatever brain cells he possessed.

ChapterFour

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