Page 97 of Out of the Cold

The vet listened to Hilde’s heart as Lucy filled her in. She checked her gums and eyes, pinched the fur on her back, and ran her hands along Hilde’s sides, pressing as she went.

“You’re sure she didn’t get into any chocolate?”

Lucy shook her head, her eyes wide. “I’m super careful about that, and I don’t even have any chocolate in the house now.”

“I’d like to do some bloodwork and get fluids in her. I recommend letting her stay overnight so we can keep an eye on her. I don’t know what made her so sick, but the good news is, she’s not vomiting anymore. That may mean that whatever the problem was, she’s purged it from her system. The bloodwork will tell us if it’s something else.”

“You’ll call me if she gets worse?”

“Absolutely. We’ll give you an update before we close tonight. Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of her.”

“Okay.” Lucy leaned down and whispered in Hilde’s ear, “They’re going to take care of you here and make you all better.”

She kissed the dog’s head and left quickly, but not before he saw tears running down her cheeks. He took a second to pet Hilde and get ahold of himself. Damn if he didn’t feel like crying, too.

Lucy filled out paperwork at the front desk, the pen trembling in her hand.

“I can drive,” he said as they left the building. “You still look a little shaken up.”

“Thanks, that would be great.”

Once in the car, she closed her eyes and took some deep breaths. He didn’t say anything. The small sedan felt too intimate now that she was sitting next to him. He wanted to lay a comforting hand on her arm, but he was already feeling too much, and she might not even welcome it.

“You all right?” he asked instead.

She nodded and opened her eyes. “I’m a wreck, but as long as she’s okay, I’ll survive. Sorry I was so emotional when I called you.”

“Hilde’s the best dog in the world. I’d have cried, too, if I could.”

“What do you mean, if you could?”

He shrugged and wished he could take it back. “Nothing, only that I get it.”

“I can’t lose her. She’s all I have.”

For several seconds, he couldn’t breathe. He wanted to tell her that wasn’t true, but what right did he have to tell her anything? She didn’t have him anymore. He’d taken himself away.

Instead, he gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles ached. “She’ll get better,” he said. “She’s over the worst of it.”

Lucy didn’t answer. Neither of them said anything for several more miles. Then she cleared her throat. “I, uh, found an apartment in San Francisco for March first.”

That was only three weeks away. He tried to order his thoughts as his breath came faster and a strange panic set it.

“Len said you could have the place until May.”

“It’s time for me to go,” she said, her voice quiet but firm. “I’ll be done with my book, and I don’t need to hide out here anymore.”

He sucked in a breath.

“I didn’t mean....”

“No, you’re right,” he said, his voice almost normal. “We’ve both been hiding out. I’m glad you’re ready.”

But she’d have stayed if he hadn’t ruined everything. They’d created a private paradise, and he’d smashed it all to pieces.

He was frozen in time, and she was moving on.

She’d finish her book, and he wouldn’t be part of that. If they were still together, he’d have made a big deal of it. He’d have cooked her something special and told her how incredible she was. He’d have asked to read it.

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