Page 86 of Out of the Cold

He let out a shaky breath. “Ricky died a year ago today,” he said, his gaze on the ceiling.

“Oh, Gabriel.” She rose up to see his face better. “You didn’t say anything.”

“I didn’t want to put all that on you. I’ve been difficult enough these past couple of months.”

“I don’t need you to be happy all the time. I can handle anything as long as you talk to me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

She’d never seen him vulnerable like this, as if he was worried she’d end things if he had a bad day.

He took her hand in his. “Talking’s not exactly my strong suit lately.”

“You’ll get the hang of it,” she said, teasing him.

He finally smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m not sure I deserve you.”

She sat up and looked him in the eye. “I don’t want to hear that kind of talk from you. You may not have been the easiest man to be around, but you had good reason. What’s more, you’ve been here for me whenever I needed you, even though everything about me pushed your buttons. You’re a good man.”

“I’m not sure I believe that yet,” he said. His expression was so full of doubt, it nearly killed her.

“Trust me, Gabriel. Please. And trust yourself.”

He swallowed, his throat working. “I’ll try.”

Her heart squeezed, and tears clogged her throat. God, this man. Did he know what he was doing to her?

“Good.” She tried to sound decisive, but her breath shuddered out of her, and now tears were streaming down her face.

“I’m okay.” He pulled her down so she was lying on his chest. “Things just feel intense today.”

His heart was beating slow and steady, as if he’d come back to himself. She let herself relax into him. “All right.”

“You’re a lot tougher than you look, you know that?”

It was maybe the most wonderful thing anyone had ever said to her. “I hear that a lot,” she said.

There was a long pause, as if he was trying to decide whether she was joking. An inelegant snort escaped her, giving her away, and his whole body started to shake with laughter.

She smiled into his chest and pressed closer. “Let’s never get up.”

“Not even to get in the hot tub?” His hand stroked a path from her neck down her spine and settled on the curve of her hip.

“Not even for that.”

She drifted for a while to the steady sound of his heart, eventually falling asleep. The sound of nails clicking against the floorboards woke her up. Looking up, she saw Hilde in the doorway, not-so-patiently waiting.

She managed to extricate herself without waking Gabriel. She walked shivering and naked into the living room, where she picked her robe off the floor and put it on. Smiling to herself, Lucy let Hilde out, fed her, then started supper.

She looked up a while later when Gabriel came in. Never mind that she’d been naked with him in bed and fully satisfied no more than an hour ago. One glance at him, even fully clothed, and the need was building again. It was unsettling, really, this endless craving for him.

“Something smells great,” he said, his eyes warm and smiling.

“It’s nothing fancy. Just meatloaf and potatoes.”

“Sounds perfect. I’ll make a salad?”