Page 48 of Out of the Cold

He dreamed he was trying to call Ricky, but he couldn’t seem to dial the right number. He kept pressing the wrong buttons or forgetting the digits altogether. It was a familiar dream, and as always he woke up strung tight with tension and the knowledge he’d lost his chance. Hours passed before he fell back into a restless sleep.

When he woke late the next morning, there was one person he needed to talk to. He reached for the phone and called a number he hadn’t used in far too long.

“Gabriel!”

He nearly broke down at the sound of Teresa’s voice. “Teresa. It’s been a while.”

“It’s wonderful to hear from you.”

“How are you?”

Her voice was soft. “Some days, not so good. But I’m getting by.”

“And Lupe?”

Ricky’s little sister was twelve. His broken heart cracked a little more whenever he thought of her growing up without her brother.

“Oh, she’s a pistol. She does gymnastics and tap and she’s still not worn out at the end of the day.”

“She takes after you.”

“Are you still in the mountains?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“You shouldn’t be all alone. It’s not good for you.”

“Maybe, but it’s not good for anyone to be around me, either.”

“Oh, honey, I understand. If it wasn’t for Lupe, I don’t know how I’d get up in the morning.”

“I’m so sorry, Teresa.”

“It wasn’t your fault, and I’ve never blamed you. I thought you understood that by now, Gabriel. You know as well as I do that Ricky was always headstrong.”

“I did, which is why I should have known—”

“Known what? That he’d ignore an avalanche warning? How could you know he’d do that?”

“I just wish I’d never flown him there.”

She gave a heavy sigh. “I understand. I’ve driven myself crazy with all the things that could have gone differently.”

“I guess I took the easy way out, coming here. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you.”

“Maybe it wasn’t so easy,” she said. “You always loved being around people. I can’t imagine you up there all alone.”

Pressure was building behind his eyes and in his throat. He had to take several deep breaths. “I wasn’t sure I should call. I thought maybe hearing from me would be harder for you. You know, remind you of him.”

“Iwantto be reminded of him. And I loved that he had you. Every time he saw you, it was Gabe says this and Gabe thinks that. He loved you.”

“Most of the time. There was that one time I took him shopping for clothes—”

“Oh, I remember. He was furious when he came home from the first day of school that year. What grade was it?”

“Fifth.”

“You’d convinced him to get Levis, and none of the other kids were wearing them. He was sure his life was over.”

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