Page 26 of Out of the Cold

He was a monster, which was exactly why he’d secluded himself up here. His family couldn’t seem to believe that, but Lucy was no doubt convinced.

Thanksgiving was only two weeks away, and he still hadn’t told his mother he wasn’t coming. He’d known for weeks, if not months, and he couldn’t put it off any longer.

As soon as he got back to his cabin, he called her.

She answered on the first ring. “Is everything all right, Gabe?”

This was how she started every conversation, whether he called her or she called him. She’d been doing it since long before he actually wasn’t all right.

“Fine, Mom. But I, ah, I wanted to tell you I’m not coming home for Thanksgiving after all.”

She said nothing for several seconds, but her sadness was palpable.

“I understand you needing time,” she finally said, “but it’s not healthy for you to be alone so long. You’ve gotten too used to it. Do you remember Linda, my friend from down the street? After she lost her husband, she stopped leaving the house. Eventually, she had panic attacks when she tried to go outside. If you retreat from the world, you’ll forget how to live in it.”

She had a point. He knew she did, but it didn’t change anything.

“I do see people.”

“Seeing isn’t the same as talking.”

“I talk to people, too. Sometimes.”

“Your sister says a woman is staying in the big cabin?”

“We don’t have much in common, but I see her every so often.”

His interactions with Lucy were proof that what his mother said was true, but he couldn’t admit that and still refuse to go home.

“Maybe the two of you can keep each other company for Thanksgiving.”

“We’ll see. I’m not sure what she’s doing for the holiday.”

“Ask her.”

“What’s Dad up to?”

She sighed, clearly frustrated with his attempt to change the subject. “He’s out car shopping with Natalie. She’s afraid of being taken advantage of because she’s a woman, and she thinks having your dad around will help.”

“You’re kidding me. Natalie’s way tougher than Dad.”

“You and I know that, but the car dealers don’t. She thinks he’s good window dressing.”

That was Natalie, always a step ahead of everyone. She was savvy and preternaturally confident, not to mention an aggressive negotiator. As a kid, whenever he so much as wanted to borrow a book or ruler, she made him sign a contract stipulating the terms of the arrangement. It was funny as hell now but made him crazy at the time.

“How does Dad feel about being window dressing?”

“He doesn’t know that’s what he is. He thinks he’s there for his expertise.”

His chest tightened. “Give them my love and tell them I’m sorry I won’t make it.”

“Think about Christmas, Gabe. Please.”

He couldn’t imagine being ready to go home at Christmas either, but he couldn’t tell her that now. “I will. Talk to you soon, Mom.”

He hung up, then stared at the wall for another few minutes, memories of Ricky surfacing now that he’d let down his guard.

“We’re seriously hiking all the way to the top?” Ricky had asked, five minutes into the first hike he took him on.

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