Page 93 of Out of the Cold

She’d looked so solemn when he left, like she understood what she was up against. She was stubborn and persistent—he’d learned that firsthand these past few months. But for both their sakes, he hoped she’d let him go without a fight.

He fell asleep surprisingly fast, glad to see the last of the day.

Lucy was calling to him from far away. She was lost and scared, waiting for him to find her. It started to snow, so heavily he couldn’t see her footprints. Night fell, and he searched the snowy ground, trying to find her tracks, knowing time was running out. Behind him, on a mountain he hadn’t noticed, snow began to slide, and somehow he knew she was there.

He woke to the sound of someone knocking on the door.

His muscles were rigid, his heart racing with fear from the nightmare. Relief came next, then a replay of yesterday’s violent mood swings.

Only one person could be knocking, and he both craved and dreaded seeing her.

He lurched across the cabin and opened the door, steeling himself for seeing her again.

She had dark circles under her eyes, and her fair complexion was even paler than usual. “Gabriel.”

His chest ached looking at her, but that, too, was far away.

“Is everything all right?” he asked. It came out sounding formal, like a waiter talking to diners at a restaurant.

“I...” She swallowed. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Well, I do anyway,” she said, her voice sharp. “Not everyone can turn their feelings on and off at the drop of a hat.”

He was shaking. He gripped the side of the doorway to steady himself. “I’m sorry I let you think we were going to work. I wanted it to, but it isn’t going to happen.”

At least he hadn’t told her he loved her. He almost had the night he asked her to move to Sacramento. But he’d held back, worried about scaring her off with the intensity of his feelings. Or maybe it was cowardice.

It didn’t matter now.

“I get that. It doesn’t mean I don’t still care what happens to you. You deserve to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”

She was gutting him. No matter what he did, she never lost her goodness, her compassion. Those sad eyes were watching him, seeing too much. And here he was, keeping her outside in the cold.

She reached out, her hand closing around his wrist. “Please don’t shut me out. I’m still here. We can go back to...” Her lower lip trembled. “To being friends. Friends who look out for each other.”

“I don’t...I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

Her hand fell to her side. “Okay, I’ll go. But I’m still here for you if you need me. I mean that.”

“There is one thing you can do. Keep the phone on like we talked about.”

She nodded, her eyes bright with tears before she turned away. Slowly she walked to the little bridge, her coat so bright against the white snow, he could barely look at her.

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