Page 14 of Pining for Christmas

I take one step closer. Just one step. It’s all I can trust myself with. “Funny how?”

“Funny like earlier.” She sucks in a breath, and it’s ragged. “Funny like I’m something to eat.”

I can’t help my chuckle. I take another step, the floorboards groaning. “Well, so you were.”

Staring at her the way I am, I see the exact moment twin spots of color start to glow on her cheekbones. Those spots are the starting line, and from there the blush spreads over her cheeks, her nose, and down her pretty throat. I watch its progress, fascinated, and I forget myself for a moment, lowering to sit next to her on the sofa.

“You’re flushed, Clara. What are you thinking about?”

She swallows. Shakes her head, not saying anything.

“You won’t tell me?”

Clara shrugs one shoulder.

And maybe I should let it go, but she came tome,said she was lying awake missing me, and this night is nearly over, the pale tinge of dawn creeping over the windows. It seems to me that if we leave things unsaid now, if we let things stay tangled, it’ll be much harder to untangle them in the daylight. And I don’t want things messy with Clara. They’re so simple, coming from my side.

So I prod her a little. I’m not proud of it.

“Why did you come find me, Clara?”

Her plump mouth twists, her fingers squeezing the tartan blanket. “I told you, Jack. I missed you.”

“So this is all you wanted? The two of us, sitting in the same room?”

She shrugs again, and she looks so miserable that I take pity. Start talking, before I can think better of it.

“You know what I think? I think you wanted me to touch you again. Maybe lick between your legs. To make you come a second time. Is that right?”

Her blush flares brighter, and triumph swells in my chest, but then she’s shaking her head again. Well, shit.

I try not to look too much like my chest is caving in. Like cold is spreading through me, icier even than the snow outside. “No? That’s okay.” My voice is pure gravel. “You can just sleep here if that’s all you want. I’ll sit at the desk and keep out of your way.”

I move to stand up, but Clara grips my sleeve. Holds me in place, her knuckles white against my sweater.

Clara

He’s thinking the worst again. And I can’t blame him, really. Jeez, why can’t I say what I want? Why can’t I be brave and say the words out loud?

Because now Jack’s looking like he hates himself again, and it’s my fault. Me and my stupid shrugs.

“Don’t go,” I beg. His mouth flattens in a line, but he stays put.

Okay. Okay, I can do this.

“I did want something when I came downstairs.” His arm is warm and hard beneath his sleeve. Bulging with muscle. I shift on the sofa, mouth dry. “I wanted… I wanted…”

Jack pats my knee, but there’s nothing hungry in it. “It’s okay, Clara. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“No, wait—” I yank on his sleeve, rougher than I should, but he was going to get up again. And this feels important. Like it might be my only chance to say this, to get it right.

Jack settles back against the sofa. He turns to me, mouth down-turned and eyes tight, but even now he can’t hide the longing there.

He wants me. And I want him too.

Iwillbe brave.

“I came down because I didn’t want to be apart from you. And because…” I wet my lips, picking my words carefully. “Because I was lying in bedwantingyou. Wantingallof you.”

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