Page 55 of What I Should Have Known

I smiled to myself. “That all went away when I had confirmation you were flirting with me.”

His lips twitched upwards. “And now? Now that you know how fucked up I am?”

I slung my arms around his neck, and he cautiously opened his eyes. “I’m not looking for an angel, Bernie.”

He cocked a brow, a mischievous glint flashing in his eyes. “Be careful what you wish for, Kit Kat.”

Rocking onto my knees, I pressed my chest against his as his hands slid down to my hips. “Maybe I’m wanting a distraction too,” I whispered, leaning forward.

His eyes flickered to my lips. “What are you wanting to forget?” He inched closer, the velvet of his kiss dusting my mouth.

“The fact that my life is planned out for me by someone else.” My heart raced, my stomach swirling with excitement as he dug his fingers into my skin. This “distraction” was in my control. Bernie was my choice, no matter the consequences. No matter how absolutely messed up this entire situation was, for a moment, I at least had a choice.

And I crushed my lips against his.

Chapter 18

BERNIE

Agentle caress of her lips was all she offered me. One I greedily accepted through the haze.

And as quickly as it came, she pulled away, sliding her hands down to my stomach. “How’s the scratches?” she quietly asked.

I frowned, upset that she had ended the kiss so quickly. “Fine,” I grumbled.

“Bernie.” Shetskedher tongue and shook her head. “Let me see.”

I squinted my eyes as her fingers brushed at the hem of my shirt. “Cooties! You’re gonna give me cooties!” I teased and wrapped my hands around her wrists. “A girl is touching me!”

She rolled her eyes. A smile sneaking onto her lips.

Her smile was something so tender and gentle. I slowly relaxed my fingers, and her arms fell back into her lap. She reached forward and slipped my shirt upwards, exposing the bandaged scratches on my abdomen.

“Oh, you already took care of them,” she whispered.

Tipping my head back, I bumped it against the tree trunk I leaned on. “I wasn’t drunk then.”

“At least you’re aware you are now,” she quipped.

A wave of exhaustion slipped through the blissful daze of alcohol. “Hmmmm,” I breathed out. Kat shifted backward and then turned her entire body so she rested sideways in my lap and cradled against me.

Without a word, her cheek plunked onto my chest, and she closed her eyes. Not another sound escaped her lips. Wrapping her up into my arms, I raised my gaze to the stars stretching high above the pine trees and listened to the silence of the night.

I’d changed. I knew that, but I struggled to see what it was doing to my soul. No matter how much I longed for a reset in life, for things to go back to the way they were before Duncan died, I knew that wasn’t possible. And maybe I’d fought it for too long.

Acceptance. Wasn’t that one step in the grieving process? Was I finally making it there? But then why wasn’t the pain and anger less? Everything that once weighed heavy on my mind rushed back in like an uncontrollable whirlwind, and I craved to feel as alive as I had just moments before death took someone he should’ve never touched.

Eventually, there was no strength left to keep my eyes open, and I slipped away into a world of nightmares.

Splitting my sleep like an axe through wood, a crack snapped through the air.

Shooting up, I ripped the revolver from the back of my waistband and shoved an arm protectively in front of the slumbering body beside me. “The fuck you want?” I snarled at the shrouded figure swirling in black.

Trees clawed at it, scraping at whatever demon hovered in front of me. Hazy, it swam in a pool of sludge.

“Bernie?” A woman’s quiet voice slipped through the muck as the creature slowly lifted two limbs. My heart raced in my chest. Someone had followed me home. Reyes was here. Back to haunt me from the grave. The enemy was going to take everything from me. Every good piece of my world, of my life, was about to be whisked away by the monster that I was responsible for controlling inside my head.

Pulling the pin back, it clicked, a bullet ready to dislodge from the silver gun.

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