Page 51 of What I Should Have Known

One hand rested in its lap while the other clutched at something I recognized.

Wait, it wasn’t a creature at all, but a man, seated on the ground, lazily resting against a tree with a cat I also recognized curled up next to him.

“Bernie, what are you doing out here?” I gushed, relieved.

And confused.

Especially as he didn’t turn and look at me. He hadn’t moved at all.

I cautiously crept closer. Pulling my brows together, I walked in front of him and then slowly squatted down.

His glassy eyes stared at nothing. An onyx hoodie hid him away, still wearing the pair of jeans he’d had on last night. He sat on his sleeping bag, not in it, a blanket scrunched up beside him served as a bed for Muffin.

And in that hand resting on his thigh, he clutched a black handgun.

Fear barreled through me like a tornado.

“Bernie?” I whispered, but he still didn’t look at me.

Slowly, his eyes closed, and a tear slid down his cheek. One single tear.

“Hey,” I quietly said again, worry ripping through me. “Couldn’t sleep?”

His eyelids fluttered open, but his gaze remained distant as he didn’t say a word.

Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.

“Bernie, look at me please,” I pleaded.

“Why? What’s the fucking point? Of any of this?” he finally slurred, tipping his head up, and the stench of alcohol smacked into me as solid as a metal pole.

“Are you…Are you drunk?” I asked, glancing at the other hand in his lap. There it was, a flask clutched tightly between his fingers.

“Does it matter?” he asked, flopping the gun sideways. “Oh, but you’ll tell me, ‘You’re alive. That’s what matters.’ That’s what everyone says. But why am I?” His eyes locked onto mine. There was something in them I’dnever seen before. And it shot terror through me like a lion ripping through its prey.

He tipped his head as if he were a caged animal attempting to break free of chains. “Why am I fucking alive? Why not Duncan?” He waved the gun around, anger rising in his voice. “Why did he point that fucking rifle at him and not me? Or hell, why not at any of the others? Why not Scottie? Reyes was jealous of her after all, not Duncan.”

He paused, narrowing in on me. “SO, WHY DID HE FUCKING AIM AT DUNCAN?”

I furrowed my brows, listening to what seemed like nonsense spew from his lips, as he continued to wag the weapon around.

“Bernie,” I cautiously began. “Where’d you get the gun?” I crept forward, closing some of the distance between us.

He leaned his head back and cackled, deranged, full of a burden I’d never known. “Your dad gave it to me last night saying no man should be in the woods without one.”

“What does…What does he think is going to come and get you?” I hesitantly asked.My father had given it to him?

Bernie grinned. A grin that sent a shiver up my spine. “Monsters, Kat. Don’t you know that?”

I furrowed my brows. “What monsters?”

“The ones that followed me home this time. And they won’t fucking leave me alone.” Bernie cocked the gun and shoved the barrel up against his temple. “Why won’t they go away?”

“Bernie!” I gasped, as he rocked his head to the side, pushing harder against the weapon he held steady at his head. My body ran cold, spiders crawling beneath my skin as I stared at what he was threatening to do.

“You scared, Kat? Does death scare you?” he asked, his voice sounding so unlike him while another tear slid down his cheek.

“Yes, it does,” I whispered, my voice cracking as he tightened his index finger on the trigger.

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