Page 48 of What I Should Have Known

“Oh! And change your shirt!” I called out to him.

He gave me the bird before disappearing back into the shadows of the forest.

I blew loudly in both excitement and annoyance. What in the world had I just started?

And was Bernie actually serious about what he’d implied? What if he got caught? What ifwegot caught?

Though there was a strange bubbling rolling low in my stomach. Excitement for doing something risky, for doing something I totally shouldn’t be but definitely wanted to. Besides, him asking how I wanted him to think and feel about me telling him I was a virgin was hot and rather respectful.

No matter what happened,ifit happened, it would be because I wanted it to and for no other reason. I just knew that while he was the master of this game, he’d given the power over him to me. That control was mine.

Chapter 16

BERNIE

No excuse had been necessary as I’d snuck into camp as silent as the darkness was. Remaining on the outskirts of the group, leaning up against a tree, I simply watched and listened. Specifically Kat. She smiled and laughed, giggling loudly with Emma. Wyatt chatted wildly, drawing most of the attention to himself as the campfire and moon above provided the only illumination around us.

The other guys joined in the conversation with Wyatt here and there, but it was mostly Kat’s dad who said things. Her mom wrestled Beau and Levi, until the two of them slowly leaned against her lap, tired. She ran her fingers through their hair as their eyes slid across the campsite.

I felt split in half, as different as black and white. One side of me was absolutely pissed at myself for whatever shit happened that had allowed me to almost break down in front of Kat, the other side of me felt a little lighter. Just a little. And only for a moment.

Muffin curled up by my boot, barely moving, out like a light. The hours that had passed, the time since we’d eaten were lost on me, and I wasn’t in the mood to look at my watch.

My mind felt as split as my soul. One half focusing on Kat, the other half dwelling on Wyatt and the strange conversation that we’d stumbled upon. Granted, my reaction to the branch snapping had initially not been caused by the appearance of Wyatt, but a flash into a world where I’d eventually be returning without Duncan.

But luckily, Kat hadn’t asked too much because of Wyatt. And my thoughts immediately went to drugs. The mention of them doubling the amount he needed to push while staying on the same timeline. He must be wrapped up with some sort of drug dealers, though probably local and not too big-time; otherwise, they wouldn’t have risked showing up in such a vulnerable spot. I’d seen this before, taken out one too many drug dealing terrorists in my career to not quickly pick up on the clues.

Something bumped against my leg. Glancing down, I offered a small smile as Beau patted my thigh again. “Can I pet Muffin?” he quietly asked.

“She’s sleeping right now, so how about in the morning?” I replied, and he nodded. “When’d you notice me over here?”

He gave me a tired grin. “Just a minute ago when I was laying on my mom’s lap. Can we play airsoft again tomorrow? Maybe you can paint my rifle too.”

I nodded once as his every blink moved slower and slower. “’Course we can. And I don’t have any paint here, but when we get back down, I’ll paint it your favorite color.”

“Can you be my brother, too? Colton’s not been home in a long time, and he used to play with me,” Beau quietly said, his head bobbing.

My stomach twisted. This kid reminded me of Raiden more than I’d realized. He was as spirited and kind as my own brother. He was still innocent. “I think you need to go to bed, little man.”

“Yeah. Wanna sleep in my tent tonight?”

“I think you’re sleeping with your dad and brothers, aren’t you?”

“Yep. But you can sleep with us too instead of all the other ranch hands.”

A chill danced down my spine, alerting me that someone was watching, and I lifted my gaze above his head. Wyatt, Kat, and Kat’s mom all were staring at me.

“Probably not tonight, buddy. Now go on. Your mama is waiting,” I said.

He sighed. “See you in the morning.”

Beau slowly turned around, his shoulders slumped, and he wandered back over to his mother, who rose from her chair. She gave me a nod and smile, silently expressing her thanks as she ushered the two young boys away from the crowd and campfire.

Wyatt narrowed his gaze as the three of them disappeared into a tent. “Where the fuck have you been?” he snarled.

And all eyes swiveled to me. Finally realizing I was standing there. I’d actually hoped nobody would’ve noticed me all night. “Been here the whole time,” I casually replied.

“Why are you here, anyway?” he asked.

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