Page 85 of What I Should Have Known

“It’s low, but yes. And I think there’s even more of a chance if it’s just the progesterone ones, which is the kind I take.”

“We’re fucking using a condom next time. I’m not about to knock you up till things are more sorted out.” Digging to the side of my closet, I grabbed my motorcycle helmet and the extra one I had for Raiden. “I have kinks, but that’s not one of them. No shame to the game, just not for me.”

“Well, good because I don’t want to be pregnant right now anyway.” She jumped off the bed as I kicked the closet door shut behind me.

“Here, it’s Raiden’s but should work for you.” I raced over to her and shoved the helmet against her stomach.

Her brows raised as a grin lit up on her face. “You have a bike?”

I nodded. “Yes. Now, let’s go.”

As I hoisted her up onto my back, she hooked her legs over my hips, encircled my neck with her arms, and held the helmet within her fingers against my chest.

Slipping out of my room, I took whispering steps of silent death down the hall. The closer I carried Kat piggy-back style to the front door, the more relaxed I became. Nobody was inside but us, not another soul paid attention to two adults disappearing outside.

And within a matter of minutes, I twisted the handlebar of my motorcycle and raced out of the driveway.

Her fingertips dug into my stomach. With her arms wrapped tightly around my waist and her chest pressed against my back, there was nothing more peaceful. There was nothing more perfect as the rumble of the sport bike’s engine beneath me melted away the chaos that thrived in my mind.

Lately, the monsters had been absent more often than usual. Finally, there seemed some gleam of light in the haze that clouded rational thought. And it usually took the form of Kat’s beautiful face. Or the sound of her voice. Other times, it was the mere idea that somehow, I’d been afforded the gift of someone so incredible and gentle, yet feisty and confident.

Maybe this was Duncan’s doing.

Inhaling deeply, I leaned with the bike, rounding a corner. Even in whatever afterlife was afforded to men like me, Duncan still seemed to be making my world better. Taking a mental note to call his mom and check on her, I straightened the bike and moved my hand to Kat’s. Threading my fingers into hers, I allowed myself to smile.

What beauty painted around me. Tall pine trees, dusting the orange canvas stretching above me. With the sun sinking, setting the night on fire, everything seemed like a slice of heaven. I may not end up there when I die, but I’d take it right now.

Sliding my hand from hers, I reached back and brushed my palm against her thigh. How in the hell was this my life? For a brief split in the fabric of time, the threads weren’t painted red with blood. They were a gentle shade of yellow, like the sunflowers in Kat’s room.

Because she was my yellow. The brightness that gave me hope for tomorrow.

Weaving along the road, hardly another vehicle in sight, I chuckled to myself. Once upon a lifetime ago, I’d never imagined myself in a small town like this. Now, I couldn’t really picture myself anywhere else. There was more drama and chaos here despite it not being a big city, but also, it lived at a pace I one day aspired to match. Slower. Consistent.

And Kat.

Kat was here.

A bubbling of uncertainty rolled briefly through me. A casual, fleeting wondering when she’d ultimately leave as everyone did. But as quickly as it came, a finality that she wouldn’t settled into that pocket of fear.

Fear.

I wasn’t afraid of much, or at least I pretended to not be. But I was afraid of losing her. She was unexpected, and everything I could’ve ever asked for. And she wasn’t entirely mine. Not yet. In spoken secret, she was. But to the world, she was still Wyatt’s.

One side of me wanted to apply six pounds of pressure with seven pounds of lead and simply take care of the issue. But the rational, moral side of me told me that would do me no good.

No. I wasn’t going to cheapen this. I was going to do right by Kat, until the end of my days. As Griffin did for Jane. As Mikey did for Scottie. As they both continued to do.

Shaking the intrusive demons from my mind, the kind that made my stomach churn, I eased the black bike off the road and slowed. The tires crunched over the gravel as I drove us up Kat’s driveway. The ranch stretched around me, a sight that had only once existed in fiction. This was her life, her world, and I was merely a visitor asking for extended stay.

Someday, I’d earn my permanence here, but for now, I was a guest.

Parking off to the side beside a group of pine trees, I killed the engine. With the gentle breeze rushing back into my ears without the rumble of the engine, I pushed the kickstand down and Kat slid off the bike behind me.

Her hair fell in such an awkward, messy wave out of the helmet. Biting back the smile, I took a moment to study the exquisite woman. What a lucky man I was, and as my gaze slid down her body, my smile widened.

“I like you like that,” I said, pulling my own helmet from my head and dismounting.

She placed the helmet on the seat, behind mine. “Like what?”

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