Page 106 of What I Should Have Known

Jane nodded. “She’s just his type. And gorgeous too.”

My heart sank. A flood of unusual insecurity gracing me for the first time since high school. “His type? Sure…” I muttered.

Jane furrowed her brows as Scottie pursed her lips.

“What’s that mean?” Scottie asked.

I tucked my shoulders up to my ears. “I don’t know. I mean, he did leave, so how am I really his type…?” I waved a hand up and down my body. Compared to these two incredible women, I was anything but. “I mean you two are fit and stunning. Slender and everything I’m not.”

My voice caught in my throat. For the first time since meeting Bernie, I realized how different we truly were. Two entirely different worlds collided, and somehow, I’d won the heart of an extraordinarily handsome Navy fucking SEAL.

“Kat. I doubt the attitude you gave him at the bar has lessened. That’s his type. He needs someone who doesn’t put up with his shit. And why does being fit equate to being slender?” Scottie began.

I raised my gaze to meet both women in front of me. Jane tipped her head as a smirk slid across her face. “Besides, if I recall, Bernie wouldn’t stop going on about how you out-wrangled all of the cowboys back at your ranch. Oh, and at the rodeo you two went to, apparently you were the one in charge when it came to loading the chutes,” Jane explained.

“Mikey may have mentioned that Bernie also said something about how effortless you looked riding your horse during branding day and the cattle drive. I’ve been on a horse only once before and I’ve never been so fucking sore after,” Scottie said and crossed her arms.

I inhaled deeply, shoving out the doubt that had crept into my mind. “Thank you,” I whispered. “I didn’t know I needed to hear that out loud until now.”

Jane gave me a gentle smile, as if she somehow knew on a more personal level what I was feeling. “You don’t strike me as someone usually insecure with herself. I know how hard it can be when the person you love thinks leaving is what’s best for you. It can destroy your self-confidence. Or…”

“Or I can use it as an opportunity to grow,” I finished for her, and she nodded.

“Now, if Bernie hasn’t been here or at your place, where would he go?” Jane asked, glancing at Scottie.

“Dom’s?” Scottie offered.

Jane shook her head. “Griffin talked to him this morning, and he’s with his parents headed to a family reunion at this massive lake on the east side of Georgia. He would’ve said something.”

I sighed and rolled my head back as a thought popped into my head. But Jane beat me to it. “What about visiting Duncan’s mom?”

Scottie shook her head and then furrowed her brows. “You know what, after his text to the group chat a couple nights ago mentioning that Duncan’s mom got the cookies he sent her, he did say something rather odd and then has been absent from the group since. I brushed it off because well, we’re all trying to process Duncan’s death, but now that he’s missing.” She dug into the front pocket of her black joggers and pulled out her phone.

Jane and I studied her as she slid her thumb up the screen. “Here it is. He said, ‘I wish we could go back to right before reality hit. During that time when I knew he was dead, but I was still able to deny it. When we were all a little buzzed and being loud assholes and I saw the most beautiful woman I’d ever met. Be nice to not feel like I’m always failing.’” Scottie looked up from her phone and stuffed it back in her pocket.

“Again, I didn’t think anything of it because Dom’s sent a message like that a few times, and again, we’re all grieving. Hell, we’ve all felt that. I guess I didn’t realize how much it really impacted Bernie,” Scottie muttered and dug her toe into the hardwood.

“Let me hurry and call Duncan’s mom to see if Bernie’s come by,” Jane said.

As bright as the sun on a cloudless day, I suddenly knew where he’d gone to.

I shook my head. “There’s no need. I know where he went.”

“What?” Jane and Scottie blurted out at the same time.

“I know where he is. He said he wanted to go back to when it didn’t hurt so much. When was the last time it didn’t really feel like the final goodbye?” I continued, and Scottie raised her brows.

“Arlington?” she hesitantly asked.

“Not the cemetery. Bernie won’t talk about the funeral. But he was laughing with your entire team right after at thebar.” I spun on my heels and waved over my shoulder. “Thank you both!”

“Wait!” Jane shouted. “We’re coming with you!”

I paused and glanced back. “I really appreciate that, but I’d like to go get him by myself if that’s all right?”

Scottie smiled as Jane slumped her shoulder against the doorframe. “Go on. Let us know when you two are back. By the way, who’s that?” Jane asked, nodding toward Emma.

“Oh, my best friend. She’s got a business trip to go on, so I’ll drop her off at the airport. Or probably we’ll both get on flights, just to different places,” I replied and jogged down the sidewalk.

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