Page 100 of What I Should Have Known

Snapping my eyes open, I raked over the crowd of concerned and loving family that surrounded me once again.

I’ll let you go, he’d said. And he hadn’t returned from the shadowy corner that had swallowed him up as my family had flooded into the room.

My heart shattered. Tears welled up in my eyes as the sounds in this tomb became as hollow as my soul.

“Bernie?” I whispered.

A hand clamped down against my cheek, and my gaze darted back to my mother’s. “What’d you say, sweetheart?”

“Bernie. Where’s Bernie?” I asked again, quietly.

As the rest of my family continued to talk around us, her comforting smile fell, but she said nothing.

“Where is he?”

“I’m sorry, honey. I don’t know. I haven’t seen him. We passed a couple officers in the hallway, but Bernie wasn’t with them, and if he was here, I was so focused on you I didn’t see him.”

I pulled my brows together, as a knife slipped between my ribs.

“Oh, here’s your phone. It was in your pants pocket. I also brought clothes for when you’re discharged tomorrow morning if all things remain stable.” My mom stretched forward her hand, and I cautiously slid the phone off her palm. A strange look in her eyes that I couldn’t quite decipher had me concerned.

“What are you saying?” I muttered and glanced down at my phone screen.

A single message waited. From Bernie.

I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry I failed to keep my one, simple promise. You are worth more than I am.

That was it.

“I’m sorry, honey,” my mom whispered as my bottom lip trembled.

Choking down the tears, I scanned the room one more time. Bernie wasn’t here.

The knife twisted as I knew deep within me that he’d left.

He was gone.

And not just for the time being.

Chapter 32

KAT

Emma put her car in park and swiveled in her seat. “You’ve got maybe ten minutes. I’m pretty sure your parents thought I’d bring you straight home from the hospital, not here.”

I gave her a tight smile and pushed some hair behind my ear. Wringing my hands in my lap, I was grateful for the softness of the sweats I wore. “I would’ve driven myself, but—”

“But the doctor said not with your concussion for at least forty-eight hours and up to a week depending on your symptoms.” Emma slid her painted fingernails along the top of the steering wheel and glanced through the windshield at Bernie’s house.

I furrowed my brows. “What?” I asked, knowing that look on her face.

“It’s just…” She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth.

“It’s just what? Emma, I love you, but I can’t read your mind.” I tugged at the bottom hem of my T-shirt. Even though it was mine, and mysize, it seemed to be suffocating me as much as the devastation that leaked through my veins.

“I don’t think you should be doing this. You’re the one that got shot. He should be by your side. Taking care of you. Not the other way around,” she blurted out and glanced at me.

With a heavy sigh, I briefly let a smile slide upon my lips but remained silent. Yeah, in any normal situation, I would’ve been on Emma’s side, thinking the same thing she was. But in this situation, sharing a secret with Bernie, one so specific, that it changed everything.

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