Page 138 of Blood Mosaic

Motherhood was something she’d pushed to the back of her mind, and she was a little surprised how hurt she was at the thought of losing the chance.

You could have died, and you didn’t. You should be grateful.

Her mother’s practical advice slapped her out of her reverie.

New life. Immortal life. The idea of family had to die if she was going to move forward.

“I could have died. I should be grateful,” she whispered. Even though being grateful for her immortal life meant being grateful to the woman who nearly murdered her, she was going to try.

Zara.

A wave of irrational longing grabbed her by the throat. She closed her eyes and remembered the feel of Zara’s hands braiding her hair.

“I love your hair.”

They were sitting in Tatyana’s bedroom, and Zara was looking over her shoulder as Tatyana worked on the books.

“Do you? I like your curls.” Tatyana glanced over her shoulder and saw Zara playing with the ends of her blond hair. “I always wanted curly hair. My grandfather had curly hair, but I take after my mother and my grandmother.”

“I can tell.” Zara heaved a huge sigh and pulled at Tatyana’s blond ponytail. “I should shave your head while you’re sleeping and make myself a wig.”

Tatyana laughed. “Oh, I’m sure that would look beautiful.”

“Let me braid it for you.” Zara scooted closer and tugged at the hairband around her ponytail. “I’m very good at braiding.”

“Oh?” Tatyana felt a silly burst of pleasure.

On most nights Zara could be mercurial and demanding, but every now and then they’d share a night like this when Tatyana could imagine they were two friends. It felt like being back at university in the dormitories.

“Yes, I’m an excellent braider.” Zara loosened Tatyana’s ponytail and combed her fingers through her hair. “I used to braid my girlfriend’s hair. She had beautiful blond hair like you.” Zara’s voice grew soft. “She looked a little bit like you. Maybe that’s why I noticed you at the club that night.”

“Your girlfriend?” Tatyana’s cheeks grew warm. She had known girls in school who preferred women to men, but they weren’t open about it.

“You didn’t know that I prefer women?” Zara asked. “I’m not coming on to you, by the way. You’re my employee, so that would be stupid.”

“Right.” Tatyana laughed a little bit. “Where is she? Your girlfriend. Are you still together?”

Zara’s hands moved quickly through Tatyana’s hair. “No, she died. She was far too young, but she died.”

Tatyana’s heart ached. “Zara, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you.” Her voice was soft. “I can tell that you mean that.” Zara’s fingers rested briefly on Tatyana’s shoulder. “I miss her every night.”

“How long has it been?”

Zara let out a long breath, her fingers still moving through Tatyana’s hair. “Years. But then sometimes I wake up and think she’s right next to me.”

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine losing someone like that.”

“You will though.” Zara’s voice grew clipped, and she reached for the hairband on Tatyana’s desk, twisting it around whatever braid she’d created. “We all lose people. You lost your grandparents. You’ll lose your mother someday. Death is inevitable.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Tatyana could feel the turn in Zara’s mood the way a flock of birds wheeled and changed direction in the sky.

She stared ahead, busying herself with the numbers on her computer. “The business is doing well. Your second quarter numbers are really impressive.”

“Yes.” Zara’s voice was cold again. She stood and walked to the door. “I’m too busy to stay here all night talking with you. Finish the accounts and send the printouts to me. Call the regular number.”

Moments later, Tatyana heard the front door of the apartment close, and everything was silent again.

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