He feels so good. Our bodies communing together feels so important.

We’re here together. And he loves me.

I love him too.

But is that enough to protect him?

Our bodies are so close he can barely retreat from me. Each thrust is more like a pulse. He doesn’t want to leave me.

“Iris.Baby.” He repeats my name again and again, begging for release.

I knit my hand at his back and bury my face in his neck, pressing, pressing until the hot coil inside me is too tense to coil any further.

I release first, shuddering on his cock, whining into his skin.

Trevor empties into me, every last drop, my name laced with swears and a cry for God. And then–

“I love you. Iris, I love you. I love you so much. I never stopped.”

“I…Trevor, I…” I can’t manage the words.

“Shhh…it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

My body spasms on his cock.

Filled by his girth and his seed, I am stuffed full of him.

The orgasm lasts longer than any I’ve ever had.

Trevor coaxes it out of me, encouraging with soft words and touches.

The echo of “I love you” remains.

There is a world where I have had an “I love you” from Trevor every night for the past six months. And he’s received one in return.

Except now we’re here, all this time of withheld I love yous. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to say it. I’ve forgotten how to say it tohim.

“Stay,” Trevor whispers. “Tonight.”

“Okay.”

He pulls the covers over us, pressing his nude body to my back.

“Stay forever,” he says through a laugh so it sounds like a joke.

But I know it’s not a joke.

I pretend I’ve fallen asleep.

Trevor kisses my ear. “Goodnight, Iris. Ilove you.”

I think to myself,I love you too. But I don’t know if I can survive our love again. Not when you took it away so easily before.

Not when I still have so much to hide.

12

TREVOR