Page 19 of Snowed In With The Second Chance Daddy

There’s no tone of accusation, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like one.

“That we’d get married a year after the engagement, and then we’d start trying for a baby six months in, it’s like you had this schedule, and it felt like there was no room for life to surprise us.”

“So, you took that into your own hands? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

Iris pinches the bridge of her nose. “No, that’s not–”

“That youwantedto fuck things up so that–”

“Trevor, let me talk! You have never let metalkabout this.”

I’m stunned to see tears swimming in her gray eyes.

“I saw the position. I applied. On a whim. I didn’t think anything would amount. And then I got an interview and another and then they offered me the position. And each milestone, I thought, ‘I’ll tell him. He deserves to know.’ And that’strue. You did deserve to know. But…”

I watch Iris with bated breath. Begging for more with my eyes.

“I knew your first reaction wouldn’t be to celebrate me.”

“Of course, I’d celebrate you.”

Iris shakes her head. “Not the first reaction. I could see it play out. I knew you’d hear ‘job in Seattle,’ and your whole five-year plan would collapse out from under you and that would scare you more than you would be able to support me.”

I open my mouth to respond, but no words come out because…

Because she’s right.

“You’d get there.” She smiles. “Of course, you would. I know you wanted me to follow my dreams. And if it wasn’t clear, I wanted to do thatandmake a life with you. It just felt like the possibility of following my dreams was growing smaller by the day. We’d get married, I’d have to become a mother–”

“Have to,” I echo.

Iris’s jaw tightens. “You know it’s not like the movies. You know it’s noteasyto have a baby.”

“Of course not, but–”

“I would have resented you if you convinced me to stay. That’s the simple truth. And I didn’t want that to happen with us, Trevor. Because I love…”

I hold my breath.

“I loved you.”

Past tense.

“I loved you too,” I reply, but only because saying “love” present would be embarrassing for me. Confusing too, considering the way I despise her for letting us fall apart is still so great.

Iris wipes at her eyes, catching a few tears before they fall. “I should go. You want me to take the bags or–”

“I’ll take them.”

She pushes herself out from the table. “Okay. Thanks.”

I focus my eyes on her unfinished pretzel so as not to watch her go.

I watched Iris walk away six months ago, and my entire world imploded. I watched her walk away last night, and I let her beauty get the best of me. If I watch her now, who knows what will happen?

Except, once her footsteps have flurried away, and I am left alone in the mall food court, I regret not having a final image of her to hold onto.

I’m doomed to suffer her loss again and again for the rest of my life.

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