Page 84 of Christmas with Three Cowboys

I give her a curious look. “Did you do something different in the barns?”

“We upgraded the insulation and added a few more heaters on a separate power line,” she replies. “It was worth the investment.”

“Still, it’s nice of you to make such an effort for a few cows.”

“Colton wants us to care for each of them as though they’re just as important as the family dog. And I see a lot of sense in that. A lot of ranchers don’t bother.”

I smile softly. “Colton and his brothers aren’t like regular ranchers, though.”

“You’re right about that, and it shows. Their daddy would be proud. Their momma, too.”

“You miss them.”

Darla laughs lightly. “Oh, you bet. We had our arguments. Plenty of times we knocked heads and whatnot. But the ranch always thrived when there were more Averys around. Maybe I should’ve had some kids just to keep the numbers up. I don’t know.”

“Do you regret it?”

The last of the plates are safely put away. All that’s left now is to wipe the counters down and go put my feet up for a while. At least my room doesn’t feel as small as it used to, not even when I feel an episode coming. I call that progress.

“Not having kids?” Darla replies, and I nod slowly. “No. I mean, I wish I had a husband to have them with, but I guess it just wasn’t meant for me. I don’t regret a single day of my life, mind you. I love what I do.”

“What about you and Sammy? What’s going on there?”

Darla sighs and takes a seat at the table, slowly sipping her coffee. “Honestly, I don’t know anymore. We were happy in theyears past. It ended abruptly. I threw a hissy fit, he threw one as well, we let our bruised egos get in the way, and then it felt like we were drifting farther and farther apart.”

“Yeah, but that was then. What about now? I can tell he loves you, Darla. He loves you deeply,” I say.

“I’m all he’s got in a way,” she replies, lowering her gaze. I notice the pain in her eyes. I hear the longing in her voice. “He’s all I’ve got in a way. I don’t know what to tell you. I guess I’m too tired to mend that fence. If Sammy were to come up to me and tell me he wants us to give it another go, I wouldn’t turn him down.”

“Well, you haven’t made it easy for him in that sense,” I reply dryly.

Darla gives me a hard look.

For a moment, I worry she’s going to tear me a new one. Instead, she scoffs. “You’re right. I’ve been prickly and gnarly. A little too much, even for my own taste. I should do something about that, huh?”

“I mean, I don’t blame you,” I say, offering a smile. “Maybe… I don’t know, try to reconnect with Sammy on a deeper level. Give him an opportunity to try again. A smile here, a touch on the shoulder there… you know, the subtle things that tell a man you’re open to him. I think Sammy’s worried you’re gonna turn him away.”

“I do have a history in that sense.”

I sit at the table and listen to her spin her tale. She tells me about what it was like for them growing up on the ranch. Working together. Sharing this place and this life with Tamara, Sammy’s wife. They were so close, maybe a little too close for Darla’sliking. The more she speaks, the clearer it becomes that she’s been in love with Sammy for most of her life, yet unable to do anything about it because she loved Tamara like a sister, too.

I don’t have any advice or really anything I can say that will help her. She knows what she has to do. She just has to decide to do it.

“You should listen to your heart, Darla,” I tell her. It’s the only thing I know for sure.

“That’s harder than it sounds.”

“Don’t I know it!”

We laugh together. I stand quickly to retrieve the coffee pot to fill her empty mug. But I suddenly feel lightheaded. Something comes over me, and I freeze, hand on the counter, gripping the towel tighter and tighter. My breathing is shallow. My skin tingles all over. I feel weak and as though my legs are going to give out. A sharp pain cuts through my body, my belly.

“Melissa, what’s wrong?” Darla asks.

“I… I think I need to go to the clinic,” I manage, then my knees give out.

I fall to the floor with a heavy thud, but I manage to absorb some of the shock with my hands. Sweat drips from my face. I’m hot and cold at the same time.

“Melissa!” Darla yelps and jumps from her seat and kneels beside me. “Honey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

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