Page 25 of Christmas with Three Cowboys

His presence alone should be enough to soothe me, yet all it does is push me farther down this spiral of pain and anguish, my inability to regain my senses crippling me beyond repair. I cry my heart out and feel my chest constricting even tighter with each attempt to breathe normally.

The room feels small.

Too hot.

“Outside,” I manage. “I need to get outside.”

My hands reach for my clothes, but they’re nowhere to be found. I can’t even feel the carpet’s soft, plush fabric, though I know for sure I’m touching it. I do feel Colton’s hands like fluttering butterfly wings traveling up and down my arms.

“Hold on,” he says.

A second later, he wraps me in a thick blanket and scoops me up in his arms.

I take a short breath in, just enough for my vision to clear and for me to see where he’s taking me. It’s the middle of the night. There are red, green, and gold ribbons decorating the hallway staircase. White and gold snowflakes. Colton opens the front door. I catch a glimpse of the miniature Nativity scene on the side table.

The icy cold of the winter night hits my face.

Colton carries me outside onto the porch.

It’s snowing, a biting wind snapping at my cheeks. But it’s working. Somehow, it’s working. I hold on to him, hold on for dear life as he shudders and sits in the nearest chair. It doesn’t matter that he’s cold, it doesn’t matter that the snow falls heavier and thicker in the darkness of the night. What matters is that he’s holding me close, snuggled in the blanket.

Holding me close and waiting for my panic attack to subside.

“It’s okay,” he says through clattering teeth. “You’re going to be okay.”

I can breathe again. The air feels so cold and sharp as it invades my lungs. Blood flow is quickly restored, and I become more and more aware of my surroundings. The ranch unravels at Colton’s bare feet, toes mingling with the snow on the porch.

“Colton,” I mumble. “Thank you.”

“It’s okay, baby,” he says, kissing my cold cheek. “It’s fine. Let it pass.”

“I am… It’s working. The freezing temperature is doing something right.”

“I’ll stay out here with you for as long as you need me to,” he says, lips constantly pressed against my cheek. Oh, Lord, how can this man be so kind, so good to me?

I snuggle in his embrace, trembling as my body temperature catches up. Soon enough, it gets uncomfortable.

“Okay, please take me back in.”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“I’m freezing my ass off,” I say with a laugh. “I’m sure, thank you.”

He chuckles and carries me back in. But we don’t stop in the living room. No, he takes me upstairs, straight to my room. I end up under the warm covers while he goes back downstairs to lock the front door, to collect our clothes from the living room, and to turn the lights off. A few minutes later, he’s in bed with me, his naked body glued to mine as I regain my senses, one layer at a time.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, one arm draped around my shoulders as I rest my head on his hard chest, my fingersabsently playing with the few curls of blonde hair just below the base of his neck.

“I’m okay. Breathing is back to normal. Tingling sensation is gone,” I reply. “Again, I apologize. I don’t know what started this.”

“Melissa, I’m going to say it again, hopefully for the last time. Stop apologizing.”

“Sorry. Oh, shoot,” I huff, almost ready to punch myself. “I’ll just keep my mouth shut.”

He laughs lightly and kisses my forehead. “The episodes are relatively short, aren’t they?”

“Most of the time, yeah.”

“A few minutes, tops.”

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