Page 23 of The Goalie

“Isn’t it, though?” I whirled around so I could face her, throwing my arms out. “I don’t know—”

“You don’t know if you love him?” Lucy’s voice had gotten soft, understanding. She arched a brow, encouraging my honesty.

“I don’t know…anything.” Tears filled my eyes and I felt like such an idiot, like Lucy’s drama was rubbing off on me and I couldn’t figure out something that should have been so damn simple.

“Yeah, you do.” Lucy nodded, curling a strand of hair behind her ear. “You know, Sam, or else you wouldn’t be in tears. I bet your heart is pounding right now, right? You have so many thoughts rushing through your head that you can’t hear anything. It’s quiet, but not quiet. And you know what youshouldfeel, but you don’t. You feel differently. And you feel guilty for feeling different. You don’t understand it, but you do.”

I let out a breath. She kept contradicting herself and yet, somehow, she made sense. I understood what she was saying, and it was such a relief to hear my conflicting feelings put into words. It was like finding a piece of myself I thought I lost.

“It’s okay, you know.”

I looked back at my friend.

“Look.” She stood up and tentatively stepped towards me. “Dan already ripped into me for making whatever you guys have about me. It’s not my intention to do that. I know it’s coming out that way, but I promise, that’s not what I mean by it.” She put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Not that you need it, but I’m okay with you and my brother dating.”

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I had been holding.

“I don’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t even know if that’s on the table.”

“Oh, it’s on the table.” She smirked. “Trust me.”

“Really? And what makes you say that?”

“Like I said, Dan ripped into me. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t work himself up. You know how he is. He’s not the sort of guy to get mad. But he was mad. And I think it’s because he has feelings for you too.”

Too. Implying that I had feelings for him and she knew it.

“Just think about it, okay?” She dropped her hand to her side and began to head to the door. “And when you come to your senses, give my brother a call. He’s all bark, no bite. And he really likes you, Sam. I promise.”

When I heard the door close, I looked at my phone. I should call him.

But not yet.

Maybe after the game.

Maybe after I wrapped my head around the fact that I was in love with Dan Holmes.

11

Dan

I craved friction.I had seen all of twelve shots tonight and I let in none of them. It was my seventh shutout of my career.

After my shower and doing quick interviews with the media, I was ready to leave. I wanted to get back to Sam.

I know I told her I’d talk to her about this later. I’d planned to give her a day at least.

But I needed to see her. I couldn’t help myself.

I slid into my car and pulled out of the nearly vacant lot. I had to get to her place. I didn’t know why, I just I had to.

I sped through lights, slammed on the brakes when I hit the reds. It was like if I didn’t see her, I wouldn’t be able to go on with the night.

It was stupid. Cheesy. This was exactly why I chose to stay away from meaningless entanglements. Feelings grew along with helplessness. I absolutely hated it.

I sucked in a breath and twisted my grip on the wheel. The night had grown dark. Stars sparked up the night sky, helping the street lamps brighten the environment. I couldn’t help but think how awe-inspiring it would be to make love to Sam under this sort of moonlight.

Upon the thought, I snorted, rolling my eyes.

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