Page 59 of Santa Has Tentacles

“Please define the word snack in this scenario.” Saint’s suspicious tone made me want to laugh and I had to try not to smile too widely.

“Well, you were curious about my brownies. I thought we could make those if we could get the right ingredients.” Oh yeah, satisfying his curiosity was definitely the way to make sure I’d get treats. “And you’ve taken such good care of me, I want to make you happy too.”

The fact that he could feel how honest I was about that pushed the answer in my direction. But he sighed dramatically like he knew he’d been played. “Yes, my Colby. I will allow you caretaking time. There is also some debate about the merits of chocolate as an emotional restorative. I am finding that data to be questionable, however.”

I wasn’t going to question that data at all, so it was time for a distraction. “Let’s go look in your kitchen to see if we have everything we need, and then while they’re baking, we’ll finish putting the rest of the decorations up.”

They were a weird mix of random stuff I’d still had in a box, but they’d dress up the room until we could go to the store.

“What ingredients are necessary, my Colby?” Saint let me stretch and then helped set me on the floor by the bed.

“I think we need oil and an egg. Maybe two? I can’t remember.” It was something like that, though. “Oh, and we can add things like nuts or extra chocolate chips if we want to, but they’re good just like they are.”

There was no way he had random walnuts lying around when he didn’t seem to have any snacks, but people with hoarder tendencies were always a surprise.

Saint looked like he was up to something as he helped me get dressed again, doing his best to look innocent until I was fully clothed, and he’d even used his nubs to comb my hair into place. I had to admit, it took me way too long to realize what was going on.

Looking down at myself, I sighed. “Humans don’t like being naked in front of the neighbors.”

Saint smiled and gave me a hug, probably because he’d just fixed my hair so he couldn’t mess that up. “Remembering human social customs is important to your happiness.”

He wasn’t wrong but I wasn’t sure I was up to figuring out my thoughts on it. “The neighbors are coming to help, aren’t they?”

“Yes, my Colby.” Looking around the room, probably searching for other human social customs he needed to observe, Saint quickly fixed the bed and nodded to himself. “I do not have eggs or oil. That will not impede your snack, however.”

Nope because aliens to the rescue…probably as long as I was willing to share.

Chapter 18

Colby

“Sorry, I can’t. I have plans already.” Finding a three-foot-tall Christmas tree that was still alive and could be replanted safely because dead trees were only for books. “But let’s plan something after Christmas.”

When my special alien friend had gotten used to me leaving his place and going back every night.

I wasn’t sure if spending the whole weekend together with Saint had been the best idea or not. On one hand, it might’ve kept him from worrying, but on the other, I was pretty sure it was making his current stress levels higher.

Monday had been fine, but when I’d tried to leave for work earlier, he’d asked me if the birds had ever attacked me. Evidently someone had sent him an article about some guy who’d been killed by pigeons on his way to work.

I was pretty sure it was fake, but Saint had started to realize how dangerous the world could be. He hadn’t realized how dangerous Christmas could be, though, so we weren’t at DEFCON 1 yet.

“How about that wing place once I get back from vacation?” I thought Jim would be fine with that but he was watching me way too close for a guy who’d just wanted to grab a beer before we both took time off. “Something else?”

“What kind of plans?” Cocking his head, Jim looked like he was one deep breath away from calling HR.

“A date.” I wasn’t going to lie because that’d end up backfiring on me later, but I wasn’t sure what he was going to do. “How did it go taking Janet home?”

We were heading out of the building, so I wasn’t worried about anyone overhearing us. Office romances were stupid, but if it distracted him, I was all for encouraging it. “She’d been happy to see you at the party.”

And I was pretty sure they’d ended up in the breakroom together quite a few times over the past couple of days.

“She…she’s nice.” Looking around to make sure no one could overhear us, Jim shrugged. “We’re going out on Friday, but we can’t talk about it at work.”

Because it was a bad idea.

“That’s great, man.” Getting ready to make a break for it, I thought I’d avoided any more of thewho are you datingconversation, but Jim wasn’t ready to let it go.

“You’re dating that Santa guy, right? That’s who you’re seeing?” Jim’s question had me stopping in my tracks and I had to work on fixing my expression to something neutral as I turned around.

---