Page 8 of Santa Has Tentacles

Oh.

“And peanuts and eggs and—”

Santa looked like he could’ve kept going, so I saved us both and interrupted him. “Is there anything you shouldn’t eat?”

I managed not to call him Santa, but it was way too close for comfort. “And I forgot to ask your name.”

I wasn’t going to feel bad about that either because he was super fucking distracting.

“Names. Yes. Human designations are fascinating.” Santa seemed to like the new conversation and it was more relaxing which made me happy. “I do not understand how human parents can identify personality characteristics at such a young age.”

Having no fucking idea how parents named kids, I shrugged. “I think it’s fun that you guys get to pick human names.”

The ones I’d seen on TV and even Nano had picked interesting ones to say the least.

“It has been aneducational experienceas you call it to become knowledgeable in enough human subjects to pick amonicker.” Looking proud of himself, he puffed up again. “I am well cultured in human subjects. Never fear.”

Oh.

He had to basically take a master’s level course on being a human before he could pick a name. Duh. Yeah, that would make him smart enough to brag about.

“I was never worried. You came across as smart right away.” And happy. And sexy. “But I’m glad you found one that you like.”

I couldn’t speak the high school French I’d tried to learn without making my teacher wince. There was no way I could’ve said anything in his original language.

“I did.” He was very proud of it too, that was obvious, so I mentally prepared myself for anything that came out of his mouth.

Based on the gossip I’d heard, one of the guys who worked in the coffee shop down the street was dating a guy named Toaster.

Yep, big smile.

“I am Saint.”

Chapter 3

Colby

He was a motorcycle club character?

No.

Santa.

Saint Nick.

Either way, it was a good one.

“That’s a great name.” And so much better than what it could’ve been. “Do you like Christmas or just the holidays in general?”

I wasn’t going to assume he’d been reading motorcycle books until he brought that up.

“All human holidays provide insight and joy. However, I find Christmas to be highly entertaining.” He gave me another pat on the head as we made our way to the front of the office. “Humans have a plethora of cultural and religious holidays this time of year. You become happier by giving to others.”

As Saint held the door open, he shrugged. “Although the vibrant lights and colors this time of year may act to manipulate your brains. They are curiously designed.”

We might be fucking with our brains with the flashing lights?

Nope. I wasn’t even going to worry about that.

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