Page 51 of Santa Has Tentacles

“Establishing merged schedules is also a form of human bonding.” Satisfied with his examination of my pictures, he stepped back and made another sweeping study of the living room before taking us to the kitchen. “Female humans on social media platforms have explained why having afamilycalendaris highly important.”

We were going to keep an eye on his social media consumption.

“Making sure we know what’s happening during the week is a great idea.” It’d probably help keep him settled too. The books I’d read on the subject of keeping one’s alien Dom happy said they functioned best when they could stalk their human partners without much effort.

Effort meant stress and stress meant worrying.

“We’ll work on that this afternoon or tomorrow.” The last thing I wanted was for him to worry before we were…comfortable with each other. “Are you hungry yet?”

It wasn’t a smooth conversational transition but it made sense with the way he was studying the contents of my small pantry.

He was analyzing it so carefully it looked like he was planning for the apocalypse.

“No, my Colby.” Carefully examining each item, including picking up a jar of pasta sauce to read the ingredients, Saint was wearing a serious expression. “You have a variety of food objects. Ingredients. You have a variety of ingredients. I am pleased with your nutritional consumption.”

Well, that seemed to be one thing off his to-worry-about list.

“I do pretty good most of the time.” It just wasn’t fun cooking for one person. “We’ll have to talk about what kinds of human food you like so I can make you dinner when we’re over here.”

I thought that was an easy topic until he shifted me around to look at my face.

Oops.

“I like cooking.” Yep, that was better. It got me an indulgent smile. “It’d make me feel nice to be able to do it for you sometimes.”

“Many humans are natural caretakers.” He was mostly talking to himself, but I nodded anyway. “Human submissives thrive on having a variety of ways to please their dominant partners.”

If any of them ran into a true service sub, that might end up giving one of them an ulcer if it wasn’t handled right.

“Yes.” Saint wasn’t typical, though, so I wasn’t too worried. “And it’s a way human partners show romantic intentions.”

“Romance is important for building bonds in humans.” Saint said it like he’d read that fact in a book, but he’d already done lots of incredibly sweet things for me. “Bonds can be slower to grow between humans, so providing socially acceptable ways to build them is important.”

He really didn’t seem to understand why humans weren’t constantly groping each other in public.

“It’s like cuddling and being held.” Nuzzling against him, I smiled when he made an understanding sound. “But just the interactive or conversational version of it.”

Were there any relationship books that really explained human dating and not just gave a cute overview of how to communicate and not be a dick to your partner?

“I am very romantic.” He was confident about that as he snuggled me closer. “We ate at a restaurant and I fed you dessert after our evening of physical pleasures. I even introduced you to what humans would consider myfriends.”

Well, yeah, he had been romantic.

“We had a bath and you got me all clean in the shower too, and there’s been a lot of physical pleasure.” What else? “Oh, and you bought my books at the store. That was very sweet.”

He’d also been really stubborn about them going back to his place, though. It seemed to be his way of making sure I knew where I belonged because when I’d asked about it, he’d just patted my head and said I could play with them when we came back.

Saint perked up as the list of his accomplishments got longer. “Providing you with entertainment and educational sexual material is my pleasure, my Colby.”

He was adorable.

And really sexy when he held me down and made me come.

“Thank you.” Giving him a kiss on the cheek, since he was busy analyzing my box of mac-n-cheese, I went back to snuggling against him. “I had fun and I’m going to enjoy taking care of you in different ways too.”

Once I figured out what those were going to be.

“We will list caretaking options if you wish.” The pleased sound in his voice made me feel a bit like a puppy he was patting on the head for being cute, but there were worse things than having a boyfriend who thought I was adorable.

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