Page 24 of Santa Has Tentacles

“We do not see humor the same way in most cases, but I can follow the path of humor for you.” His words were nice but his head pat and back rub said I’d fallen into the cute but confusing category.

Or cute andsomethingat the very least.

“I am pleased to have been able to provide you with nonsexual pleasure.” He always saw things in the best light. “Have you enjoyed browsing my books?”

“Yes.” I had every intention of telling him which ones were my favorite and trying to figure out which ones were his, but he went still before heading toward the door.

The human helper.

Yep.

I never heard anyone walking by, but when he opened the door, there was a small white box filled with snacks, lube, bottled water, and other random stuff we might need.

It was weird. I wasn’t going to deny that, but I was starting to think all dates should come with sex accessory boxes.

“Your building is quiet for humans.” Marveling at his strength and dexterity as he carried me, the box, and managed to shut the door, I couldn’t resist petting one of the tentacles wrapped around me. “The fact that you heard him dropping off the box is amazing.”

And would probably drive humans nuts.

“We have evolved very differently.” Nothing in his tone said he thought that was a bad thing, so I nodded as he carried me over to the counter and set our goodie box down. “Humans lack necessary skills a predator would need, but you have evolved with superior creativity and are greatly adaptable.”

We had our good points.

“And your motivation through sexual rewards and social customs are fascinating as well.” The head pat that came with his sentence was harder to sort out, but since he wasn’t wrong, I wasn’t going to put up a fuss.

We were highly motivated by sex and social shit.

“Our species finds that highly desirable in mates.” Softly stroking me with several limbs, he sent a shiver through me as he made it clear he liked having a new human something. “Our leaders felt that your entertainment media and vivid imagination would make our transition into your society easier. However, there have been unexpected benefits.”

“Bonus content, huh?” I wasn’t sure if he’d get the joke but he made a bubbly sound that was definitely laughter.

We were naughty in bed and had fun ideas, so the aliens wanted to come hang out.

Yep, sounded about right and better than the overly logical garbage the news had always peddled.

No one came to Earth to live because we had the best oceans in the universe or because we had Walmart and it would be easy to resettle.

“Significantbonus content.” Shifting me around as he sat down on his bed, he draped me across his lap and started slowly caressing over me. “If I am understanding the humor correctly, you would be bonus content that we would enthusiastically sign up for a newsletter to access.”

So he’d be willing to get all the junk mail in the world to play with me?

He saw it as a commitment and wasn’t just going to flit around with his bonus content and leave?

Mates, huh?

“I’m glad I’m that serious for you, Sir.” I knew I was right about a few assumptions that were bouncing around in my head when he nodded and gave me his proud parent smile. “We’re not going to rush through reading your bonus story, though.”

The happy sound he made sent a shiver through me and somehow my dick managed to get even harder. But that might’ve been because Saint was stroking all around it without actually touching my bulge. “I promise to take my time and enjoy my story thoroughly.”

Tentacles rippled around me and the ones on my head even moved the little nubby things so he was massaging my scalp. It turned my whole body into mush and he took that as permission to start easing under my clothes and shifting them around. “I will caress every page and take in every word.”

One smaller limb pinched my nipple, and I didn’t even try to hold back the gasp that escaped. I knew he could feel what he was doing to me, so I gave him the sounds too. “Every word, my human.”

Because he liked them…a lot.

Every moan he got from me seemed to send something pleasurable through him. It might not have been sexual pleasure like he was giving me, but it was doing something good to him.

And pleasing him just made me feel even more incredible.

---