Page 13 of Santa Has Tentacles

He hadn’t meant it to be funny.

I had the sense of humor of a teenager sometimes.

“The conversation was educational? I’m glad.”

He was trying to kill me.

“Their movies have been highly educational as well. His additional commentary explains much.” Saint barely paused to take a breath before it looked like he was going to shift gears, but I stopped him.

“Wait. Commentary?” I was pretty sure I knew which couple he was talking about…but commentary. “Where?”

Whatever he saw on my face had him chuckling and leaning over to pat my head. “Humans and their curiosity.”

Yeah, curiosity.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to find another way to explain it.

“There is an…” He paused, thinking about what to say next. “There is an image. A picture? An icon. Yes. There is aniconthat is not English on the menu called settings. Touching that activates what some have calledthe director’s cut? Nothing has been cut. However, the information provided is highly educational.”

There was a dirty book version of the porn I’d been watching.

Amazing.

Fuck.

How had I not thought to click on any weird icons?

I was back to not knowing what to say as my brain spun in circles, but after a few seconds, I nodded and did my best. I wasn’t trying to hide that I’d watched porn, but I didn’t want to look brain-dead over it. “Thank you for explaining what that did. Most movies like that don’t come with education.”

The smart freaky people would definitely want to educate everyone else, though.

It was going to end up like dating a kinky genius.

“You are welcome.” He gave me another pat like I was cute and didn’t see anything weird about the conversation. “I am glad to provide you with edification.”

I wasn’t completely sure he’d used that word right, mostly because I couldn’t remember ever using it in a sentence, but that wasn’t important at the moment. “I appreciate it.”

It almost felt like the conversation was done but we had a few things to circle back around to. “So when you were talking about not being highly private like a lot of your species, what did you mean?”

I wasn’t going to do porn no matter how hot he was.

My ass wasn’t sexy enough for that…it was flat and I had love handles.

Porn was out of the question.

I needed carbs in my life too much to get a porn body.

“Very good communication, my human.” Another gentle stroke over my head made it clear he was happy with me, but it took him a second to get to the question. “Queries are important and provide many opportunities for discussions.”

Okay, well, my dick liked that we’d made him happy but my brain still wanted the answer.

Thankfully, Saint got us back on track before my dick or my brain could protest too much. “I have discovered a preference for displaying my submissive.”

Displaying?

Like showing off a sub?

“I don’t think that sounds deviant as far as human standards go.” We did a lot weirder things on a regular basis. “But can you give me an example of a scene you liked?”

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