Page 96 of Gift from the Wing

I don’t remember standing from the ground or being moved to the palace command room. Nor do I have any idea when Gaster, Keeper, all the Vito parents, Lyker, Aria, Lennox, Kyan, and Zane arrived, but here they all are, surrounding me and attempting to lend me their strength while I stare off into nothingness.

Aurora’s trying her hardest to push some positive emotions onto me. Her gentle gift caresses my skin like a warm breeze, but I can’t absorb it or accept it. The anger, hurt, and fear that’re pulsing through me basically burn it away the second it touches me.

My eyes tracked Gaster’s pacing until they nearly went crossed and after that, I sank into my mind and haven’t been able to pull myself out since.

The guys aren’t trying to reach me anymore. Tillman ordered when it was time to finalize a plan, he’d tell me. They all know, if I allow my mind to grip reality too much, I’m going to snap.

My thread is so thin as it is.

If I listen to Nikoli’s or Jamie’s voices too much, I lose the control I have on my elements. They’ve each stared at me with both apologies and a heady dose of hope in their eyes and I can’t bear it.

It’ll be my undoing.

I’ve come so far with believing in myself. Up until now.

Until this very moment where it means more than it ever has.

The doubt plaguing me is going to make me physically ill. How could I have been so stupid, so naïve to believe it would be okay for Oakly and me to put off training me to track long distances? Of course she’s walked me through it. Discussed it in sure-fire detail, but we’ve never actually practiced because of my aversion to transporting.

That pathetic fucking fear is eating away at my soul now.

It’s going to cost me my sister’s life.

Trembles shake the command room’s walls, and fine powder falls from the ceiling as everyone falls silent and stares at me. I hate the pity I see in their eyes. The understanding is just as bad. I should be above this. A dark thought shouldn’t have me on the cusp of crumbling, but here I am.

Falling the fuck apart on the inside.

“I need a minute. I’ll be outside,” I say stoically, stepping away from Aurora’s warmth.

“Draken go with her,”Corentin says gently, but I hold up my hand to my dragon man.

“Solo trip for now, dragon,”I mumble.

“If you need me, any of us…”

“I know.”

I practically power walk until I burst through to the outside.

The palace command area is different than the academy’s.

Where I could’ve left the academy’s command room and walked through the gym to get outside, here at the palace, the command room is its own separate building. Once I burst through the doors, I’m met with a training yard that is teeming with E.F. members.

Those who don’t know me give me a wide berth and even wider glances. Those who do give me determined nods. Ready to go whenever my men or I, I guess, command it.

I round the building like my ass is on fire to get away from all the eyes. I can’t hold my heartbreak in any longer.

As nothing but trees come into sight, I slow my steps and tilt my head to the sky as I pace around. It’s a failing effort to get my breathing under control and as the rays continue to warm my face, my tears burn as they slide down my cheeks.

It’s not long before my legs give out and I sink down into the grass and grip handfuls of it. I want to bellow, rage, fucking burn everything to ash until I find her. The sobs that come up and out from the depths of my soul are painful as I hold in my silent screams. The agony that wants to tear out of me would no doubt be heard for miles around.

“Oakly, please. Please let me in.”

I plead and beg for the millionth time. Wherever they’ve moved her and half her Nexus is concealed. I don’t feel our bond more than enough to know that she’s alive and she won’t answer any of my mental yelling.

“CC, Elementra, one of you. Please. Please tell me what I can do. Don’t abandon me in this. Please guide me.”I cry.

This moment, more than any other I’ve faced, is when I need them. This is a situation where their guidance would benefit me more than ever. I can’t lose her.

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