Page 2 of Gift from the Wing

The man nods to my father, not bothering to spare me a glance as he flicks the sight of where the needle is protruding from as if that will make my blood flow faster.

I sit, petrified, shaking in my father’s lap, transfixed on the bright red that fills the clear bag to the rim, and the tears that won’t stop pouring from my eyes taste metallic on my tongue.

My small chest rises and falls faster and faster when the needle is pulled carelessly from my arm and a pitiful whimper passes through my lips as I fixate on the little droplet of blood that pools at the exit site.

It’s the first time in my life I can recall ever seeing my own blood and it turns my stomach inside out. The confusion and fear warring inside of younger me intensifies the turmoil rolling inside of my current self.

Fuck, I was so scared, so confused.

He’d given me no warning of what was to come when he sent a house staff to retrieve me from the sunroom where I was eating my breakfast. I had just sat down. Taken one bite of scrambled eggs and was doing a happy shimmy to the taste when my blissful moment was broken.

My disassociation breaks when the color is smeared down my arm as my father yanks me off his lap and drags me out of his study, muttering something to the man who just did his bidding. I try to dig my heels in, but all thatgets me is a deadly glare. No command needs to leave his mouth because that look has fear skittering through my body.

“I-I’m sorry,” I hiccup through my sobs.

“Not yet, you aren’t, but you will learn today what your defiance and disgusting mannerisms bring you, Willow. I have instilled enough in you by this point that you should know better than to fight me,” he says back so gently, my little heart pounds with naïve and childlike hope that he’s not truly angry.

The house staff we pass pause whatever they’re doing, bowing their heads low as I’m marched through the estate and out the back door that leads to the forest.

My gaze stares through the tall trees until it becomes too thick to see any farther and I swallow roughly, scared to death that he’s about to force me in there. There’s no telling what monsters hide inside.

“Put her in,” my father’s command startles me out of my staring, and I scream as I’m lifted off my feet.

The noise continues to rip from my throat as I’m dropped just a few inches from the bottom. The movement is so sudden and jarring, I tumble to the ground and take in a mouthful of dirt. My arms tremble as I try to push myself up on all fours, but shock has taken hold, zapping all my strength, and I roll onto my back.

“If you want to behave like a filthy child, I will treat you like one. You will stay out here until I deem you’ve learned your lesson.”

Getting my first glance around at where I am sends fright burning through my body. I jump up from the ground and claw my hands down the side of the dirt wall, screaming and begging as I search for a way to get a grip and climb out. It’s useless as I continue to fall on my butt, pulling more and more dirt down on me with each attempt.

“I’ll be good. I’ll listen. I promise,” I scream, cry, gag, and the sobs ripping through me are so hard they drag the contents of my stomach up with each desperate inhale.

“I find that hard to believe, Willow. It’s in your blood to defy me, but rest assured, I will break you of the habit.” He swears before stomping away, leaving me there breathless, petrified, and begging for his forgiveness.

Eventually, my stomach does revolt against me and somewhere along the way, I lost my shoes, so my bare toes get buried in both the contents of my breakfast and dirt. Exhaustion weighs my little body down. I just can’t fight any longer and with swaying staggers, I sink to the ground and pass out into the darkness.

I cry to myself where I’m still trapped in the dungeons of my mind with this memory that won’t release me. Using all the mental strength I have, I push at the barrier surrounding me, but it doesn’t relent. It doesn’t loosen up. If anything, it latches onto me tighter, and I’m forced to continue to endure this. Endure the first of many days to come that warped me into the person I am today.

“Wake up, Miss Abott.”

My crusted eyes flutter open and the pounding in my heart starts immediately as I’m roused from what I thought was a horrific night terror. As I take in the dark dirt walls and the cool temperature of the earth, my tears instantly start flowing down my cheeks and my breathing quickens. My tiny fingers uncoil from the fistful of mud I was clinging to for dear life as I swiftly push myself up and look above me.

“You may come out now, Miss Abott. Your father had business to attend to,” my nanny, Ms. Johnson, says as she lies on the ground with her arms outstretched toward me.

Reaching down, she grabs me by my hands and pulls me out, then sets me on my feet and stands to clean herself off. I can’t stop staring at the long rectangular hole. From above, it doesn’t look so big, but in there…it seemed gigantic, never-ending.

“Now, you need to go get cleaned up. Your father will be away for the night and I’m to report to him any bad behavior, so keep that in mind,” she says so sternly, it feels like she slapped me.

Why is she being mean to me too?

My heart splinters open.

To feel now the confusion that was warring through my mind then is heartbreaking. Overwhelming. I was only six. I was still a baby, and I had no clue what was going on. I couldn’t understand why the lady who laid my clothes out for me every dayand brushed and braided my hair was suddenly treating me as though I’d done something wrong.

When she reaches out to grip my arm, panic takes hold.

Pulling away from her, my chest heaves as I backpedal, glaring as if she’s the biggest monster in my life. The crunching of leaves underneath my feet has me turning my head and peering at the forest behind me.

The monsters in there or the one in front of me.

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